Comments on: after divorce, do you stop attending in-laws’ family affairs?

By: angel baby

angel baby — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

anyone will stop

By: s w

s w — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

probably but if your still friends with the family then they still might like to see u

By: drea D

drea D — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

i dont think that they would be offended.. i know they must know that it would be awkward for you. you can still keep in contact with them but i dont think that they would expect you to go to family parties

By: juanes addicion

juanes addicion — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

my guess is yes…ESPECIALLY if she/he blabbered our news to the whole family…the friction is unnecessary…you go at that point by invitation.

By: Saint

Saint — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

Its ok for the kids, and you if you are alright with your Ex.Other wise explain to them and they should understand.

By: Goodspeed

Goodspeed — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

as long as I was not involved in another relationship I attended a few family affairs….most recently I was invited to their family reunion,( after 6 yrs divorced) however, I declined and explained that I am in a serious relationship and do miss everyone but feel its not appropriate for me to attend…I received a reply that they understood and that I will always be family.

By: ncowifeusaf5

ncowifeusaf5 — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

if you are invited than yes by all means go…if you are comfortable with his family than don’t worry about it, as for your kids they still need to be apart of his family too(your ex)..if at times you don’t want to attend then have him take them, I don’t think they would be offended as long as you go sometimes…

By: Mommyof2

Mommyof2 — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

While I went through my divorce I didn’t go to see my ex-inlaws at all nor was I ever invited they weren’t really nice either. But if your ex-inlaws to be are nice then why not if you are invited? Good luck.

By: ofsoundmind

ofsoundmind — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

As long as you and the host/hostess of the party are comfortable with your attendance, then go, have fun, as long as there are children involved you will always be a part of that family. You are divorcing your spouse, not his family. At first it might feel awkward, but I am sure most will try and make you feel like everything is ok and that you are very welcomed.

By: edladaire2

edladaire2 — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

Ask that question to your in-laws and be upfront about it.
Also is things go bad leave and don’t take crap from soon to be ex-inlaws.

By: suzyhomemaker

suzyhomemaker — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

YOUR FREE NOW HONEY, YOU OWE THEM NOTHING ANYMORE.

I remember my sister saying this after her divorce, she fealt so free.

By: treasuredwife69

treasuredwife69 — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

There are no rules that say you cannot. I am still very involved with my son’s ex’s. They are the mother’s of 3 of my grandchildren. We share holidays and birthdays and get together for outings quite often.
Couples may split up, but familys should not. They will always be my family. My extended children. And I love them.
My son, however does not like it, but has come to accept it. After all he should. It does keep all his children together. So they can grow up knowing eachother.
Like I am saying, I personally think it is quite healthy and important to keep families together inspite of break ups. And stay open-minded. When you do, great things happen.

By: caligal68

caligal68 — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

It really depends on how the divorce is going and what the cause was, but I would have to say no. at least not for a while. You both are going to need time to heal, move on, and get to know who you are without the other person. It wouldn’t be fair to either of you to keep showing up at places he is at. Also he will need his families support with this task and may feel that you are intruding which can cause problems. The second reason is, if you are really close to his family and they like you they may not be able to fully accept someone else in his life with you still being around to compare them too. If the kids are his and the are their family, like aunts and uncles or grandparents then do not stop letting them go but, let him be the one to take them not you. I wish you luck

By: tellthetruth

tellthetruth — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

It will be odd for you to still attend and he has invited his new partner I know that might hurt but treat people like you want to be treated tell him to pick the kids up for event or you drop them off and when they say come in for a bit clinch your teeth be strong and mature and say thanks but I have made other plans drop drama and get on with your life be blessed

By: always-smile

always-smile — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

do what you think is right. if you like the family, i find no reason why you should not have contacts with your in-laws….especially if you have kids involved.

By: miraclehand2020

miraclehand2020 — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

Keep the relationship at arms length.Think of the confusion if you get a new set of in-laws.Avoid all the gossip and keep your thoughts to yourself.

By: Jane Marple

Jane Marple — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

If you’ve been invited by all mean go, it`s because you are wanted there. Since i`m divorced (first divorce) I do not attend their ‘event’ but I do go to my ex-inlaws around Christmas time and one time during summer when I happened to be in their area. My ex husband does the same with my family. We’ve been divorced for 8 years. We had no confusion about it. My ex has remarried and has children with his new wife and I visit them as well and his kids call me auntie…….Harmony is a beautiful thing.

By: ycee

ycee — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

yes, it’s still appropriate for you to go with your kids… but if you feel that your kids are uncomfortable, leave. they are a bit offended it you don’t accompany your kids… if might make them feel that they are the cause of your breakup

By: noteworthy5

noteworthy5 — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

if he isn’t going to be there I would stay just talk about the "weather"kind of stuff .The kids need family and shouldn’t miss out on fun activities with love one just because mom and dad can’t live together any more.I’ve been invited to the 4th of July annual party. my soon to be X will be working so with a book in hand and a smile in my heart I will go because our kids will be happy.I did the same thing for new years.The book work great when you fell uncomfortable or don’t want to talk just start reading and be where the kids are so of some one ask questions about your X or the divorce just say I don’t want the kids to worry about or hear me talking about that .I just want them to have fun and play with no cares right now.thank for understanding.

By: DEFINATELY BLESSED

DEFINATELY BLESSED — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

ONLY IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THE POSSIBILITY OF RUNNING INTO AN EX. The children should attend the in-laws affairs, if invited, because they are not divorced from the family. Keep in mind, what if you have a date, would you still be welcomed to the affair.

When it comes to ex in-laws, they will always see you in the light of being MARRIED into the family; therefore, ONLY YOU CAN JUDGE HOW THEY WILL VIEW YOU WHEN YOU ARE NOT.

OTHER WORDS, IT IS UP TO YOU. GOOD LUCK