Comments for Save Marriage

Comment on When going through a military divorce when does BAH stop? by tristan

tristan — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 02:23:10 +0000

I have been married for 4 months to a soldier. I am a former soldier myself and was married to another man during the last yr I was in. For the past 3 and a half months he has beed in hawaii he has been trying to get bah and swears up and down one day its approved. but a few days b4 he gets paid he tells me he isnt getting it there is no way i can find out. just b4 he was supposed to recieve it the 1st time he moved he money from the account we shared to an account of his own. Over this issue for so long and him not sending enough money to take care of his si called family,(i have 3 kids). I am tired of the debate and decided to divorce him. he just told me that he supposedly got screwed from bah again and even if he ever does get it he wont send it to me. is there anything i can do or am i just being selffish. I just wanna provide for my kids and i am scared that without the extra money at least till i can get back on my feet me and my kids r gonna be homeless. help please

Comment on I want a divorce, but my wife says she doesn’t. If I file can she stop it? We do own property and other things by carol lavalle

carol lavalle — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 06:22:01 +0000

I just went thru with my second divorce and again my x got everything and he decided i didnt need support I live on social security disability and get xxx.xx each month but he makes out like a bandit he gets not only social security in xxxx.xx but a va compensation as well in xxx.xx and he thinks he shouldnt have to help me we were married almost 28 years come next month. he not only got the house but the furnishings and the appliances I bought with my settlement, after my injury due to a work related accident.

Comment on How do you withdraw/stop a divorce in the state of Connecticut? by mark conlon

mark conlon — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 05:03:08 +0000

my wife filed 1 month ago we do not have lawyers how do we stop the divorce?

Comment on I live in a sexless marriage how do others in the same situation cope with this problem? by Darren

Darren — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 20:57:07 +0000

i feel all your pain, it is almost like my wife is really put out at just the thought of me trying to get sex from her. I have tried to initiate sex to no avail, she sleeps on the other side of our king size bed and never comes to my side and maybe once or twice a year since our daughter was born 8years ago. I always thought i wouldn’t have to be the only one to pleasure me. but alas’ i must it really sucks. i wanna leave but i have lost my job this year and she is treating me even worse. i always try to buy her affection which never works. I hate my life a little more each week.

Comment on What future problems can a 55 year old man and a 26 year old woman expect in marriage? by Happy as ever

Happy as ever — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 09:14:09 +0000

I am 32 and my man is 65. We have been together for 14 years and we still love each other and are perfectly happy. He is still just as health and active as he was the day we met. About the only thing that has changed is the color of his hair. Regardless of the stories you may here, if you truly love someone, you can make it work. Age is just a number. And just so everyone knows, not all older men develop health problems or start needing Viagra when they hit the 60′s.

Comment on My husband tells all his friends about our problems in our marriage…??…? by Katy

Katy — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 03:27:05 +0000

I am also on the same boat. My husband talks to his friends, both male and female, nicely but when it comes to me he loses his temper so quick and he raises his voice with a hint of annoyance. I love him but it’s come to a point where enough is enough. For example, he tells them everything and he responds to their phone calls and text messages as quick as lightening..but when it comes to me I have to ask more than twice before he gets back to me. I feel like that kid sitting in the corner and watching everyone have their moment. Two years ago same thing happened to me with the email thing. My husband did not sign out of his facebook page..I saw a little Inbox notification and I couldn’t help but snoop (yes, my bad) but I have a gut feeling that he left on purpose for me to see. It was a message from his femal coworker stating that he should leave me because I am only making his life miserable. This girl is the biggest stoner you will ever meet and she also tried to make a move on my husband during the staff christmas party 3 years back. I felt humiliated and angry. We separated for two weeks then he apoligized. Things were back to normal after a few months, then it was great like he had changed. Now, it’s back to same old shit and I am beginning to think that this is it. Leaving him would be an easier decision if we didn’t have a 4 year old together. FYI, for the last 4 and a half years I haven’t went out with my friends, my husband on the other hand has partied more than you can imagine. I don’t know what to do anymore. Oh and he flirts with his female coworkers too. FML.

Comment on Should I bother trying to fix my marriage? by Chris

Chris — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 20:40:37 +0000

What did you end up doing? I’m in the same boat and would love to know how things turned out for you.

Sincerely,
Stuck

Comment on can a person be happy in a sexless marriage? can a sexless marriage be saved? by Amy

Amy — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 21:48:26 +0000

I’ve beeen in a sexless marriage with no intimacy for over 30 years. Married 40 plus years. For me my marriage has been awfull, I thought it would get better but over the years its continued to go down hill. When were younger he said he really faked his enjoyment of sex. I’ve been upset and depressed by what he said ! I’am sure your wondering why were still together, I can’t understand it either. I was young and very insecure, now were retired and on fixed a income a decent pension and good health care. I can’t leave but will say that if ever I have the chance in my next life this will not happen again. I have no one to go to no kids or a real friend to run to. The benefits are great but thats about it.

Comment on Any dignified virgins who are saving there bodies for marriage? by 29 Years Virgin

29 Years Virgin — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 18:43:52 +0000

Here’s a 29 years old virgin. I’m a man btw, and not Christian.

Comment on How to cope with living with Mother in law to save my marriage? by sara

sara — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 17:22:14 +0000

I understand completely how you feel, for I am in the exact same boat only add a autistic toddler son & teen step-daughter into the equation. It’s like running an insane asylum! My husband also has the same reaction when I express my concern. I came upon this page in a general search for “how to cope with living with mother-in-law”. All of these responses I’ve read to your post are way easier said than done. You want it to work & you want her approval. Like myself, you seem to not want to disturb & cause trouble in a relationship already set in place before you came along. There is no denying that one would feel a lot of guilt for doing so. However, why should you give up the man you love because his mother (depression or not) is being intolerable? If does sound as if you have done all that you can without turning to petty measures or laying down an ultimatum that will either end your marriage or cause serious resentment for all concerned. I can tell you from experience that treating her in the same fashion she treats you will not bring the peace you so desperately want. It will only further the gap between you & your husband & your resentment towards you MIL will continue with added tension. The only recommendation I strongly offer is do not have children while the issue still exists because it will only get worse. How I intend to deal with my MIL is straightforward confrontation every time she offends thou it is against my very nature. Let her deal with the repercussions of her own actions! When one treats you with such distain & ill manners without a justifiable reason than you mere existence, it is your obligation to standup for yourself. If this final resort does not work, I believe my marriage to be doomed. If that be the case, I will always resent her for it. I will also resent my husband for not keeping the very basics of our marital vows. In closing, I feel very much for you & your current situation. I wish you the best of luck with this age old battle. If my new plan has a positive outcome, I most certainly revisit your post & let you know. But do please remember to never let that woman’s distaste for you bring you down for then she has won.

Comment on In a divorce with a child. Mother has filed relocate papers, How to stop her from relocating? by Nila fordyce

Nila fordyce — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 16:06:28 +0000

Unfortunately, in the state of California they do sadly allow mothers to take their children out of state. Not only is this being extremely selfish–you are dening your child, the fathers child- any chance of a halfway normal future after a tragic divorce, as this is. And the Family Legal System is not doing what is in the best interest of the child. You don’t allow a good fit father to be ripped away from their own flesh and blood child. This is absolutely egregious to both the child and the father–let alone the law period…The Family Legal System in our country is broken–especially in Ca.. They are corrupt,greedy,biased and incompetent. It is truly tragic what they are doing to our children and crucifying the poor innocent father. It happens all the time. There is no positive benefit out of this at all for the child-except for the very selfish mother.
Children need their fathers as much as their mothers. And just because a mother is a mother does not mean she is better or deserves more rights than the father. This totally is unfair and unjust. It’s disgusting!!!

Comment on Just got divorced and I want to move out of state with my son can my ex stop me from doing that? by Nila fordyce

Nila fordyce — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 15:35:00 +0000

Any mother that would want to take a child away from a good fit father has to have a real screw loose…You are not being a strong centered mother or are you showing what is in the best interest of the child in the long run. Actually, you are being very selfish…Children need their fathers just as much as they need their mothers. The profound emotional impact this puts on children when they have to move from a parent they love and are bonded to is devasting. And it last a life time–it hurts whole families. Unless their is some form of real abuse (proven) going on– why would any mother want to do this to their children…Chilren thrive with both good parents in their lives-not with one. I am a woman, and I can’t imagine growing up without my natural father in my life–he was my hero and still is at 88. I worship my father and I think most little girls and boys do. Unfortunately, any state that has these kinds of henious laws (move away laws) should be banned…I have seen this too many times and it only fractures lives of children and the parent left behind.

Comment on Should I disown my family to save my marriage? My wife cannot stand them.? by Roger

Roger — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 03:02:46 +0000

Those saying that she is wrong are assuming that she is the angry one. I can only speak from personal experience but the family needs to know their boundaries too. And the spouses need to stand up for their wives/husband if their families are treating their sig. other badly. My experience was a spousal family that would come into my house and take my photos and cherished items down and put them god knows where I couldn’t find them. literally they moved me out of my own house and my spouse didn’t say a single word to them. She did nothing to help my cause and in fact excused their behavior. Still think its wrong to ask your spouse to limit their contact with their disfunctional family??? I think you need to focus on the family you decided to make and not the one that’s nuts.

Comment on What future problems can a 55 year old man and a 26 year old woman expect in marriage? by Rich

Rich — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 15:10:55 +0000

I am 53 my girl friend is 28 we love each other and doing fine We seem to know what pleases the other want with out the other saying a word

Comment on Can my husband stop divorce? by robbie

robbie — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 04:24:50 +0000

I THINK THAT IF ONE PERSON DONT WANT THE DIVORCE IT SHOULDNT HAPPEN IT TOOK TWO TO MARRY AND IT SHOULD TAKE TWO TO DIVORCE NO MATTER WHAT THE JUDGE SHOULDNT BE ABLE TO RULE A DIVORCE CAUSE OF ONE PERSON WHICH IS MAINLY THE WOMAN WHO WANTS IT IN MOST MATTERS WHAT DOES GOD SAY ABOUT MARRIAGE TO DEATH DUE AS APART THREW RICHER OR POORER THREW HEALTH AND SICKNESS I MEAN IF THERE IS ABUSE I CAN SEE BUT ARGUING OH AND ADULTERY THATS A NO NO AND ABANDON YOUR SPOUSE THAT TO IS A NO NO WORK ON YOUR MARRIGE I SAY TRUST GOD HE IS THE WAY TO HEALING YOUR MARRIAGE

Comment on what are the problems in marrying a woman who is a divorcee and has a child from earlier marriage? by Mildmanneredman

Mildmanneredman — Sat, 13 Aug 2011 16:50:24 +0000

Actually, I am a divorced man and several years ago I married a Filipina who was 27 with a 3-year-old child and unmarried. I am 25 years older than she and a person of modest means. Since my only other child was on his own, I was happy to do it. The lady’s family scrutinzed me like I was marrying a young woman who was a virgin or something instead. So, I felt good about that. All I can say is that now we have our own child together and I am very happy to have this person as my wife. We both just sort of “clicked on” to each other. I have accepted her child as my own and we have a good Christian family and are all accepted in our community. I think that if one wants to marry a person who has been previously married or who has a child, you have to “know” with each other that it is the right thing to do and then get on with it. If in your heart, you think it is the wrong thing, then DON’T DO IT! If you know that it is the right thing, the go ahead, the riches and joys will soon emerge. Sincerely!

Comment on How do I tell someone I want to save my first kiss for marriage? by chelsie

chelsie — Sat, 23 Jul 2011 06:58:12 +0000

Honestly Girl I say awesome for you. I feel the exact same way. Even though I kissed my first love. If I could go back in time and change that I would in a heartbeat. I think most people just give to much of theirselves away so quickly. personally to me I AM WAITING to have sex until after im married. Its a sacred thing, and I hate how everybody treats it so lightly. Im only sixteen and ive had guys tried to have sex with me and I always tell them no. I just wont go there. People think im weird and crazy but honestly Im glad that Im a virgin. Im proud actually. Because at least I know what I want and I respect myself. Im not saying that what others is wrong, But I say its a matter of personal preference. I think you have a great outlook. DO NOT EVER LET ANYONE CHANGE THE WAY YOU THINK ABOUT THIS STUFF. You are you, you have your own thoughts, and your own way of looking at things. Truthfully I agree with you one hundred percent. I think that is one of the sweetest things I have ever heard, and I think you sound awesome. You will find the right one:) Until then dont change your ways for anyone, stay strong and be you. IF A GUY EVER tries to change the way you think, then drop his ass.

Comment on When going through a military divorce when does BAH stop? by Yo

Yo — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 20:16:56 +0000

My husband for 22yr is almost 28 yr Army. He wants a divorce, I do not. I am classified disabled. what do/can I get? HELP!

Comment on Warning: This is a very serious topic. Is there any way to save our marriage? by unjumeunsance

unjumeunsance — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 20:46:53 +0000

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Comment on ex wife and step children problems ruining my marriage? by Sara

Sara — Fri, 01 Jul 2011 19:26:25 +0000

If this situation with your step son & husband’s ex is making your life miserable have a heart to heart with your husband. The step son shouldn’t be disrespecting you & your husband should be standing up for you, NO EXCUSES. If he isn’t willing to do anything about the situation get out of the marriage. The alternative is being miserable or worse making yourself sick. This is a toxic situation. Your husband needs to get a set of BALLS