Comments on: Divorce is finalizing in two months. Can’t stop the hurt..?

By: mybigsmile

mybigsmile — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 01:46:00 +0000

OH God do I know! MLC for Hus…decided to..
Choose “feeling good”" and “friends” that didnt have any life expections , over me and my kids lives .
What selfishness exsits… and yes you want to hurt them because you cant believe they would not feel remorse for hurting you and your whole family future for their selfish acts.

Thats the kind of get back you want… I dont know if I will ever see it (his remorse)…but right now I sure as hell dont want him to be “happy”

By: eva ♥

eva ♥ — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

Time will ease your pain. Find another guy.

By: Jonathan Y

Jonathan Y — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

ehh dont worry about it. you”ll get over him. if he pickd u over family then it wasnt meant to be with someone as special as you.

By: no name

no name — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

get a therapist to help you work Thur your feelings

By: virgowiccangirl

virgowiccangirl — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

im sorry. i recently got my dissolution. it took me a long time to realize i was better without him. then it took me longer to get a dissolution. good luck!

By: cool mom

cool mom — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

you will be OK and from experience it just takes time

By: LISA M

LISA M — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

You are right, you will be ok. It is ok to be angry, scream and shout if you need too. Time is a wonderful thing. It heals all wounds. I promise. Think of all the great experiences that are waiting for you.

By: Trills

Trills — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

If you want to pull his hair out that’s fine, but if you want it to hurt then be sure to pull out his short hairs.

By: Melanie J

Melanie J — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

Act like your name! Go out with your free spirited self and have a good time!

Stop dwelling on the past and concentrate on making the now and the later into something wonderful!

By: herman s

herman s — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

Divorce is like death. You need time to let the venting & grieving. Just tell yourself "this will pass" when life gets you down.

By: MiCa [my-ka]

MiCa [my-ka] — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

Find another guy and have fun!!

Don’t worry you’ll be fine.

By: Lannibal Hechter

Lannibal Hechter — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

Stupid move to pick you over family. My situation too. But it gets better. Not much help now but it does.

He may never admit it but he’ll realize his mistake later.

By: Emily Dew

Emily Dew — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

I know how you feel. Even though I initiated my divorce from a very abusive alcoholic, I had a lot of anger and pain afterward. I was very worried that I would carry over baggage from my crazy marriage into new relationships. Thankfully, I found a great therapist who helped me tremendously. I got my feet back on the ground in no time and my life got 1000% better. I suggest you find a good therapist to help you through this. Most likely, your insurance will pay for it too.

By: Richard C

Richard C — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

Write down your anger – and then put it in an envelope and place it in a drawer……get everything out and when you put it away, you are making a clean split from that emotion. Move on by re-igniting the sunshine in your soul, which moves to your heart of gold and project that outward. You not only will be hekping yourself, but – importantly – someone else.

By: soymissk8

soymissk8 — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

Make yourself busy. Find something to do with your time and aggression. Take an art class or martial arts, or anything, really. Eventually you’ll find that you are just enjoying life again instead of trying to get over the divorce.

By: joan_of_freakin_arc

joan_of_freakin_arc — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

took me almost 3 years to realize that i made the right choice in getting a divorce. if a man puts u last he doesn’t really love u, why cry over something u have no control over anyway? yes it will hurt for a time, but once u begin to see that theres a life out there for u u will feel better. when we loose someone we love we do hurt, that is normal, but we always seem to get better and we always move on no matter how badly u feel now, time and distance heals everything.

By: pchickie01

pchickie01 — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

What hurts in a situation like that is that you can basically turn off the marriage by divorce, but you can’t turn feelings off the same way. I watched someone very close to me get divorced and then get remarried. Then about 3 years later they got divorced again and had it stopped before it became final. They are not happy together but they don’t think they can live without each other even though they would be better off apart. Time heals all wounds and with time you will see things differently. If it wasn’t meant to be, maybe something better is waiting for you

By: rllthethird

rllthethird — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

It will ease up in time. Stay away from dating until you get a handle on your feelings and what happened in the relationship. In the meantime, get active in your community and join a church, some club, take a class, find out more about yourself. Meditate to help you relax and to get out of your anger. Also, go to a really good salon and get a complete make over. If it costs too much, save money and each time you put money in a jar or whatever picture yourself relaxing under the trained fingers of a massage therapist. Massages supposedly help you deal with all of life’s rough bumps. Also, it will help relax you and keep you from trapping the anger in your body. Make sure you save enough to buy the make up and hair products you will need to keep up your new look. Then, start saving to buy an upgraded wardrobe. Keep setting new goals for yourself that are just for you doing things for you and your future. Then, if you can see a therpist in the meantime. Hang out with your girlfriends but don’t go hunting for a new guy.

By: susieque

susieque — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

No! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

No, I mean I KNOW what you are going thru!!!!
I do! I do! I do!
Sister, YOU are not alone!
Believe me!
Do NOT let his choices dictate how you feel about yourself, and do not let the anger take you over to where you want to make him Pay–it only hurts you…..read some books, vent with your gal-pals, but the best "revenge" is to move on and be happy in yourself and your own life.
"If he undervalues me, what care I , How grand he be?"
Got it?
Get it!
"Now, go have a great life and LIVE….be safe, be happy,
and don’t let that TURKEY get you down!"
Mama said!

By: acedelux

acedelux — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

The hurt will be felt 100% in the beginning. Eventually the hurt will die down to 80%, 60%, etc. until 10% remains. That 10% is memories and experience.