Ok, here’s what happened. My wife cheated on me with one of her ex’s. I found out she cheated a year after. She hasn’t cheated since. And swears she would never do it again and said she would do anything to make up for it. I’ve always had trust issues since I was a kid, I was abused by my step father and raped by a close family friend (male/male). I don’t trust her at all. I want to..I just can’t bring myself to it.. I installed a key logger on her computer. I constantly check her call logs and text messages and trace the numbers. I check her emails and trace the IP’s. I know it all sounds horrible..but, it just doesn’t feel the same. I’m biter about it. I always make comments that make her feel bad about what she does.. like knock on the door before it come in the house and say "is it ok for me to come in" or when the phone rings, I leave and say- I’ll let you talk in privacy". I would never have cheated on my wife, or anything like this before. But now.. I cheated on her twice. And I feel no remorse at all..its a strange feeling..like "well she did it". like I’m able to justify my cheating with hers. I’ve even thought about getting a divorce, but I can’t see my life without her. I know I’m going to get a lot of harsh words thrown at me, but its just how it is.
I’ve always heard, once a cheater, always a cheater. But I know that’s not true.
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Definately…Please also concider using a Pastor as well and praying your way thru this.I have been thru a lot with my husband and it comforts me to know that thru the storms and the rain we always have been and will be together.
You don’t need marriage counseling you need a good shrink.
SIR YOU BROUGHT YOUR PAST ISSUES INTO THE HOUSE WHEN YOU MARRIED HER.
YOU HAVE NOT BEEN A GOOD HUSBAND BEFORE SHE CHEATED. BEING A BIG BABY OR WHINY SCARDY CAT BEFORE SHE CHEATED WAS NOT A GOOD HUSBAND. THAT IS A EXAMPLE OF HOW I THINK YOU ACTED. SHE CHEATED ON YOU BECAUSE YOU WERE GIVING HER YOUR LEAST IN THE HUSBAND DEPARTMENT.
NOW YOU ARE BEING THE WORST HUSBAND EVER AGAIN. SHE CHEATED ON YOU
YOU ACTED LIKE YOU FORGAVE HER. (lie)AND NOW YOU GIVE
HER HELL DAILY. NOW YOU HAVE CHEATED AND FEEL FINE ABOUT IT. YES YOU SHOULD DIVORCE
HER. BUT YOU WONT BECAUSE
YOU
SIR
ARE
THE
POOR
VICTIM!
So you will be selfish till the bitter end.
You sir need the personal help for yourself!
Trust is a deal breaker you can be married to some one you don’t love you can be married to someone you don’t like you can even be married to someone with no money but sadly you can’t be married to some one you don’t trust. You already know that I’m just confirming it for you.
Good luck
2 wrongs do not make a right. If you want to be with this woman you cannot be cheating on her. Yes, she made a big mistake, and if she is sincere and regrets it you should not have gone off like you did. You just made things worse. I would highly suggest seeing a marriage counselor because you cannot work this out on your own. I would also suggest you go see another therapist to help with your past issues. Good luck.
No harsh words here only words of wisdom that I do pray you will take into consideration. I feel your pain and clearly understand why you have a hard time with the trust issue. I would like for you to first seek couseloring for yourself, to help you deal with your past and to heal yourself first before loving your wife; learning to love and to forgive so that your heart can seek true love, not love but true love is what is needed at this point. Thank you for trusting yourself enough to open up and seek help here. When you are able to work thru your own past, it will be much easier for you to see her thru eyes of love that she has for you. But in the meantime, stop cheating, bad energy comes fromt this and it is only hurting you more. You guys are together and you need to fix your relationship within and leave all others alone. I do hope this helps you but if not, good luck in finding your peace inside. Smile, God does really love you
My ex was a cheater. She did it 3 times. But I believed that she would change. She didn’t. I wanted for it to work so badly that I sought counseling to get over it.
I believe that is she was truly willing to be open and honest we would have been able to get through everything, only she is not an open honest person. She is a liar and a manipulator.
If you two are open and honest about your feelings and the desired outcome, then yes,it will help.
It may not save the marriage, but it will help.
I am now married to a wonderful woman whom I love dearly and will spend my life with, but I still have the desire to know the truth.
If all I can have is the truth from her I would be happy and satisfied.
You both need to ask yourselves if you are truly wanting to be with the other person.
If yes then yes,m it will work.
If no, then no, it will not, it may prolong the situation, but not cure it.,
It depends on your own take on it.
yes marriage counseling can fix this.
or it can uncover what the issue really is. it is a risk you might take.
you are pushing her away big time now.
once a cheater always a cheater is ridculous. however, once a victim, always a victim, ahem ahem,……hmmmm, is that you?