My husband and I split up temporarily and now he is seeing this other person. She is nasty. She has no problem posting innapropriate pics of herself on the net in compromising positions and this is the type of person I do not want around my son. My husband and I were fine, and working toward reconcilliation when she came into our lives. Now he doesnt want to pull our family back together. Does anyone have any ideas or techniques learned to convince him to stop this separation? We do belong together but I dont have faith in god or karma anymore. Any suggestions?
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unfortunately, you can’t. it’s just not possible. otherwise, i would’ve stopped mine. but then you realize that they are divorcing us for a reason -their b***h. so why would you want to stay w/him anyway? would you rather he continue seeing this ‘skank’, and still be married to you? as far as your son, keep in mind that he will always hv the right to see his father. it’s just up to him whether or not he wants to be involved. best wishes and good luck to both of us!
i really really hate to brake it to u but move on
There is nothing that you can do, nor should you be trying to do anything. He is obviously not thinking with his head (or his heart, for that matter) so you should move on. Eventually you will find a man who will be a good husband and a good father.
Nothing you can do. He doesn’t want you, he wants her. It’s that simple.
So don’t waste your life trying to get him back, go and find someone who will truly love you and your son!
If he is determined to divorce then there is nothing you can do to stop it. You can tell him that you don’t think his current girlfriend should be around your son for the reasons you listed, but that doesn’t mean he will listen.
Wow in a simmilar situation—You need to have faith for you and your son…Stop waiting on him and fix yourself and put up bounderies(awesome book by the way)…Believe it or not your son is smarter and clearer on the situation than you realize–just be there for each other..Counseling and Church have helped me and my kids tremendously…Bounderies will help you keep things straight for you and keep your mind off what he is doing and why he is doing it…If you have hope read the book and stay seperated..But I will tell you if you both dont go to counseling and stay in counseling for atime you will never work things out for the long haul..Trust me 19 years of experience.
Never loose your faith in GOD.
As for your husband, I’d say he’s been cheating for some time. He may have even been seeing this woman before you split. Though it is important to have your sons natural father around during his childhood. Your son does not need to be subjected to this woman, or your husbands behavior.
Your husband doesn’t want to pull his family back together, because he’s having to much fun with her, and is being selfish. He’s thinking with the wrong part of his anatomy. To not consider his son, is very disheartening to hear, but I suggest that you do everything you can to protect your son.
I would not push at your husband. This will only drive him further away. Ask for him to join you and your son to a trip to the Zoo, or a pick-nick in the park. Do everything you can to make him apart of you and your sons lives. "DO NOT" bring her up. Towards the end of the play-date with you and your son. try to plan a future date, or ask him home for dinner.
Do not use SEX as a tool. One it’s not healthy for you, "lord only knows what she may have". Also, it will only make it harder on you in the end. if you must face the fact it’s over. Also, do not use your son as a leveraging tool.
There are men out there who love kids. My widowed cousin found one! She has 2 boys (11 & 9) who just adore their new dad.
Your son will understand if you find someone else. His real dad found someone. Go find your real Mr. Right because this one just seemed like Mr. Right… when really he was Mr. Completely-Wrong in disguise.
It sounds like you are not in control of what he wants right now. All you can do is protect your child and do the best you can at raising him.
I would let him go cuz that skank has been everywhere and probably has a disease and will probably give it to your husband. If he really loved you he would have never cheated on you in the first place! I sure wouldn’t hang on to him would you want a disease? It ain’t God’s fault this is happening to you maybe if you go to church your life will get better this could be happening for a reason you might get someone better. Honey once a cheater always a cheater if you take him back he’ll do it again to you.
You can’t stop it. If he wants out, then he wants out. No law,no lie, or trick can make him stay.
Pray
OK this is a mess…but why do you think that he won’t be in your son’s life just because you’re going through a divorce? I know you don’t want her around your son but all those things should come out when you go to Divorce court. Explain to the judge what type of person she is and what she’s done. Print out the pictures of her posing nude on the web this will limit the time she has around him. What may happen is that the son and father visit has to have a neutral person involve like "grandparents" or somebody in that status.
Man this is a hard one, getting someone to do something they don’t want to do would almost take a miracle, and as I am much like you with little faith in god and karma…..um, just try talking to him..no loud voices,,etc…just tell him that you love him, you miss him etc. But you can’t get back together just for the sake of your son either. Children are smarter than they get credit for and if neither you nor your husband are happy, your son will know that and won’t be happy. Why is it that your changing your mind about the seperation now,..is it because he has another woman, and you know he is desireable by other women? Just wondering.
Tell you the truth, he hasn’t grown up enough to see what he should do. His marriage and children should come first before anything.
btw, Karma will come to him. If he continues down this path. This skank that you talk about, she is the type that will screw him over. He will loose his family over this person and they way he has treated you for a fling. After he has no one. That is Karma.
There is a flaw in your whole thing. If you guys were working towards a true reconciliation, then she couldn’t have come into the picture. There is hope, but it may very well be too late, especially if you do not have faith any more. I don’t think bad people can make good people bad as long as they have good influences around as well. But if you are really scared, pull out the big guns say you don’t want your son around her. As far as techniques, I think you should cool it, and maybe find some dates of your own. Because if he was ready to fix your marriage she wouldn’t be there. And you cant have a relationship by your self.
It takes two to make a marriage. If he is not willing to put his son’s interest and that of his family above the need to be with this woman, then you might need to move on. Telling him that it is her or his family may get his attention. Right now, seems he has the best of both
Give it time, chances are that that Skank will get tired of him and move on once the relationship has become rutine…
guessing 6 months to a year.
Don’t let a failed relationship take your faith away. You didn’t mention what made you guys separate in the first place but is this man a good example as a father? A son needs a good man around as a father, not someone who can’t show him what being a good person is all about. Being a father is more than donating sperm. If you are truly concerned about your son, make the best choices for him.
Let him go. It is the best thing you could do for yourself and your son. There would be more problems if you got back together…lack of trust, etc.
Just let him go and try and find someone new
Firstly, if he’s in love with this new person, you can’t be selfish. Secondly, you’re going to break up with your husband again if you did get back together (trust me), you’ll just have the same problems you had before, it’s insanity.
Don’t know. The only possibility I could see would be for the two of you to go to counseling. If he doesn’t want to go play the son card. If that doesn’t do it – you are probably out of luck. My question would be why would he want the skank instead of you? Not trying to blame you but is there something you did not provide – emotionally or physically that he might be finding with the skank? Just think about it.
you CANT stop it
and why would you WANT some guy that has sex with EVERYONE
he’ll bring you something Ajax cant take off!
yep i do, date someone watch how fast he comes back…..as long as you are needy he will carry on doing what he wants..stop calling , talking to him , and start dating someone else and let it be known to all his friends…seems petty but it works
You can’t make him come back if he doesn’t want to and if he has a girlfriend, he doesn’t want to.
But, you can try one last thing before you give up. Get yourself a boyfriend and see how he feels about it. If he’s just trying to make you jealous or hurt you, he’ll change his mind pretty quick if he thinks that you’re moving on.
Good luck!
Why oh why would you still want to be with this idiot after seeing this skank with him? So disgusting….
P.S. Your son’s father can still be in his life without you having to endure the cheating husband!
Maybe if you make the argument that it’s important to do for the sake of the kid it will help.
Maybe have a long talk with him for the sake of your son. It might appeal to him. Make it clear a relationship with her will hurt his rights to custody, and that you intend to defend your son in such an event.
If he wants to be a hoe and not a family man let him go. take your son and be the best mom you can, you don’t need a man who acts like a teen. P.S you can change his mind if it’s made up. GOOD LUCK
Just let him go. You deserve better.