Comments on: how do I stop my husband from telling our 3 year old to hate me, while we are going thru a divorce?

By: confused

confused — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 03:26:17 +0000

i divorcing my ex, but he wont show up for court what should i do?

By: Marilolli

Marilolli — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

you kind of brought this on yourself… and he’s not necessarily telling her to say this.
Go to family therapy.

By: WJ

WJ — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

I would mention what he is doing to your lawyer and have the judge change his visitation to supervised. He shouldn’t be doing that no matter what is going on between you and him.

By: Teddy K.

Teddy K. — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

thats sick let her know that you love her

By: bestadvicechick

bestadvicechick — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

wow – that’s horrible. i know alot of people use their children when going through a divorce as an emotional tool….and it’s a horrible thing. divorce is hard enough on children without the emotional manipulation. if i were you, i would take the issue before a judge or mention it to your lawyer and see if there’s anything you can do.

By: Jersey Sweetheart

Jersey Sweetheart — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Well your daughter is 3 years old, umm she really has no idea what is actually going on, only that your husband is filling her head with alot of nonsense. He is very immature actually for even telling your daughter those things cause what kind of parenting is that? Your daughter doesnt know what the difference is with custody and the best solution you can do is bring her to a consuelor with your ex husband present to work this out and definitely bring it up in court cause this is a foul move for an adult

By: d@wn

d@wn — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

are you sure that he’s telling her that? she may just be interpreting what she’s seen through her 3-year-old perspective: mommy and daddy fight, daddy leaves the house, mommy must have made him leave.
if he is telling her that, tell your lawyer. in many states, badmouthing the other parent in front of the child can be estopped by a court order. it doesn’t always work, but you can try.

By: Smeather

Smeather — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

My sister recently went through this. Ask the judge to make it part of the divorce settlement that niether parent is aloud to badmouth the other parent in front of the child. The child is not to hear anything negative about either of you from each other. He’s poisoning your baby.

By: nothing..

nothing.. — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Woah. that child needs to be kept from her father. A psychologist may help…

By: lilly

*lilly* — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Tell your lawer that and take her to family couceling my ex mother in law hates her father for leaving with another women and her mother for allowing that. Im not trying to scare you but take care of it now before it gets too late and your husband is wrong for doing that unless your daughter knows whats going on and is a daddys girl !! sorry and good luck

By: mamabear

mamabear — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

You have to talk to your daughter. You have to tell her that you love her and nothing is going to change that but you cannot be with her dad anymore. You might want to go to couseling with her. She is a child and does not understand. Don’t let her treat you like that.

By: Terri R

Terri R — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Don’t sweat it,it’ll pass. She has no clue what she’s saying. My ex always told my kids to hate me and to not listen to me,my kids are in their 20′s now and they can’t stand HIM. Everything has a way of working itself out and the more you stress over it,the worse it gets. Chill.

By: sha g

sha g — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

woman u need to put your foot down! if he is doing that u can use that against him while your going threw a divorce,all u have to do is tell your lawyer, your lawyer will get ahold of his lawyer, there will be stipulations and if your husband doesnt stop your lawyer can stop visitation!! trust i been threw it!!!dont let him do this,your child is tooo young to be going threw that! if you let it keep going on,then your just as wrong!!! good luck!!!

By: beanodom

beanodom — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Really all u can do is tell her that you love her and that you didnt make her daddy leave. Parents will do just about anything to get the kid to like them more… its crazy. Hopefully when the divorce is over and things settle down the two of you can start to get along with each other for the sake of the child.

By: Wendy

Wendy — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

If your husband is telling her these things, let your attorney know. He will let your husbands’ attorney know and it will put hiim on notice.

When you’re daughter starts talking like that, just tell her that you love her and that it’s not a nice thing to say.

You could also get her into some sort of child counseling.

By: ceegt

ceegt — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

The idea that a grown man would talk to a 3 year old this way is appalling; or a child of any age for that matter. Are you really concerned that he will do this? If you see a change in your 3 year old’s attitude towards you, then I would take him to court and seek full custody, or at least supervised visatations…but this would be a hard thing to prove. So, best wishes to you and I am so sorry about your divorce. I am also divorced and it is a very painful thing to go through for the entire family.

By: DKH

DKH — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Just tell her that it isn’t true that you still love her daddy but in a different way now! Plus, try not to talk bad about her Daddy in front or near her!! In due time, she will come to her senses. I’m divorce for about 6 yrs and the ex still lies and tell my kids different things and I just bite my tongue. My son who is now 14yrs is starting to figure out the truth about his Dad on his own terms. Now, my twins girls will have to do the same! It is the hardest thing to do, too! Good luck!

By: bradmichaels2008

bradmichaels2008 — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

kids arent that hard to manipulate. just continue telling her u love her. hug her a lot. tell her you want to live with her, to counteract what he says about you. just dont stoop as low as him and tell her lies like her daddy hates her.. it will confuse her more.
also buy her lots of nice gifts and toys. kids love that. im sure he is doing the same thing.

By: Chris B

Chris B — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Using children as an expendable pawn during a divorce is the most abominable thing any parent can do to their child…and yet it happens every day. Your husband wishes to attack you with his own child being the messenger. You cannot stop him but you can try to stay as far away from him as possible during this time. It may also be a good idea to seek the aid of a counsellor for your own sanity. This is hopefully something you can share there and have some good advice on how to handle it forthcoming.

Above all, do not take this personally! He is playing a dangerous game with the mind of a 3 year old but he will lose in the end. Let us pray she doesn’t! Thank God you got rid of this vermin.

By: adjd j

adjd j — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Tell your husband that he failed to keep a good woman(that is you) in a committed marriage. And now is demonstrating his incompetence and inability to comprehend life changing situations. Tell him and this would make a lesser man more mad, that if he couldn’t over come his weaknesses, now he is stooping that low to corrupt a child(who at this age are no less than angels and absolutely impressionable) to mouth his thoughts and words. Even animals don not teach their offsering wrong moves so that they fail, he is training his child to be a misfit in this society as he seems to be.
Your decision to stay away from this person seems to be more correct. Tell him its over and stop harming his life further more by corrupting a child. What does he think that such teachings would not come back one day and bite him in the back. May be your husband could not deal with the blow and is devastated himself but using children as weapons to harm partners is not excusable