Comments on: I want to get a divorce without more debt. How can i stop my SO from putting ME into more debt? Divorce now?

By: protossrush

protossrush — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

file for divorce asap everything she spends after you file will subject to scrutiny in court and she may have to pay you back for

By: Tina

Tina — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

If you file for legal separation you won’t be responsible for any debt she accrues after that. At this point you are both responsible.
Call your mortgage company, explain the circumstances to them, and set up payment arrangements. Most of the time they are pretty understanding about situations that arise. Speak to your friends who are loaning her money and let them know that you will not be responsible for any more money that they allow her to get from them. Be straight forward with it. That way if they do give her more money the will do it with that understanding. You can call the credit bureau and have a notation placed on your report that says not to extend credit without speaking directly to you. That way she can’t extend credit in your name if she tries that….and it doesn’t cost you anything to do that.

By: 2Beagles

2Beagles — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Tina mentioned contacting the credit bureau to put a notation. I’m not sure if you know this or not, but you can now put a freeze on your credit. That means nobody can get into your credit, so that would mean nobody would be willing to give your wife a loan in your name if they can’t look at your credit history. You can unfreeze your credit anytime you want. To me, it sounds like your wife is spending on purpose, just so you won’t leave. She’s trying to control you. But put your foot down and move out if you can afford to. Contact a lawyer and start the paperwork for divorce. Once she knows you’re serious, then she’ll stop, but until you do something about it, she’s just going to continue doing this. As for her friends.. you’re not obligated to repay her debts to them. Yes, it seems the right thing to do, but if she fails to repay her friends, then soon they will want nothing to do with her. She’s going to fall on her own. Good luck with this situation. You can get past this.

By: Swan Crazy Dot

Swan Crazy Dot — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

apply for a divorce via a good solicitor and get him to put a stop on the account preventing the woman from running up debts on your a/c. advise your friends that from now on (in writing) you will not accept any responsibilities for loans given to her. Leave home if possible, then she can apply for rehousing with the kids via the local council or housing association. Alternatively put a deposit on a flat for her and give her a month to clear all her stuff out whilst you arrange adequate child care – If she has not gone in that month put her stuff in the new flat pay one more months rent and change all the locks. I don’t know who has done what but unless she is a very bad mum, I would think it best for the kids if you left and just ensured you paid a set reasonable amount for their upkeep and until and unless she is working keep the mortgage payments going. Once she is or if she is working then I think that you should arrange to pay half the mortgage and their upkeep – nothing else. They are your kids as well as hers so that is the right thing to do. Not one penny more is she entitled to, so stand firm in this. Whatever you do make sure there is proper (if supervised) access to the Kids for the absent parent, and never run her down to them. Her spend spend business may be a reaction to unhappiness by the way, so try not to be too judgemental OK?
Good luck