He is bringing up old arguments,and banging on that you cannot have children,sounds like he is feeling guilty over something,I would put money on another girl lurking in the background,do some digging,most likely a co-worker or an old flame,check the PC ,his mobile phone,credit card bills,if he is younger than you are you starting to age?Men rarely leave unless there is someone else waiting for them

i read this and got that awful feeling in my heart that just stabs away at it. you love him so deeply that te idea of being without him just takes everyhing out of your heart and soul. you may have already done so but if not you need to ask him what it is that he wants to get better, not during an arguement or even necesarily when hes sayin it coz emotions can be too high make tim eto discuss it, it may well be something you have no idea about and you can resolve. i have recently been through a breakdown myself and i no doubt made everyone around me feel like theyd done something wrong, i nearly lost my 5 year relationship as a result and it was the last thing i wanted but i felt so isolated and as if no one could ever understand, everything he said seemed to hurt me but i got through it and was fortunate enough that he had the patience and that my friends helped to support him to support me. if hes had a breakdown your the first person whos gunna get it, hell be unhappy in his life and the one place hel feel comfortable to let it out is at home but that doesnt mean home is where the problems are, its usually a huge mixture of things.
speak to him dont tell him how you feel at first ask him how he feels and go from there. myself and my partner agreed to not let things escalate for a while and to say if something wa too mjuch to deal with at which point we agreed to back off. were now back on track and able to talk about it, its took a while and things arnt 100% but were still together
i hope you can work things out it cant be easy for you but im sure with time oatience and love youl work things out. x
there is also the possibilty that

alright well i might be able to help. if you cant have kids meaning you are unable to have kids he should respect that about you he should love you no matter what just like his vows said through sickness and health.. he needs to stick to that and pull his head out of his rearend and fix his own problems that he obviously has deep inside… but about him bringing back the past seems to me that he is guilty of something like he is mad at himself for some strang reason,,, something that he hasnt told you so he finds every little thing to get into an argument because he feels he is a failure … it sounds to me he could have some skeletons .. talk to him hun:)

Of course it’s worth saving. You married for life, right? Instead of fighting with your spouse, fight for your marriage. Get marriage counseling. If he won’t go with you, go alone.

Takes 2 to fix a marriage. If he’s this confused about how he feels maybe he should pack and go somewhere else for a while to rethink his priorities.

There’s thousands of children waiting to be adopted in a loving home, being a parent is much more then carrying a foetus for 9 months.

Get some counselling ASAP.
There are alot of issues going on, you both need to get everything out on the table and get some help to get back on track.

he’s being a jerk, you dont deserve that, leave his ass

If he took your last money to buy alcohol then yes he is an alcoholic. Not all alcoholics drink daily….but it is clear he NEEDED it and made it a priority over other things and spent your last $ on it. I think you need to ask him if he feels you two can work things out with counselling….don’t move back in together until you have gone to counselling otherwise nothing will change.

He is on the way to becoming an alcoholic.

Altho you say you love him. You don`t sound compatible to me (always arguing).

Maybe you both need to mature and grow up a bit, and take marriage a bit more responsibly. A successful marriage takes hard work and dedication – it doesn`t come naturally. You both have to buckle down and MAKE it work if you both wish it to succeed.
Many marriages begin to work better the older you get. This is because you eventually get tired of arguing (often over trivial things) and start to prefer a quieter life.

Some Alchoholic’s ony need a little boost. Buying booze with your last buck isn’t a good sign. You need to read up on alchoholizm more to get a better read on that subject. Learn to recognize the signs for yourself then learn to respond constructively.

Marriage is like taking a kid from high school football and putting him into the Superbowl without a coach.
The first thing you need to do with your husband is to get personal with him. Ask him: Hey do you remember when it was working great? Don’t you want that in your life all the time? Ok then what we need to do us understand when and why it falls apart so we can identify the moves we are making on each other causing failure (just like football)
The only real question you need to answer is: Do you want that greatness in your life again and for ever?
If he is sober and says yes then you have a chance. If he is drunk then you have a timing problem. For marriage skills see "save the marriage" below.
The first thing to recognize is that nothing in this world happens without God in your lives. You can’t do anything for your husband except be a good role model for yourself.
(The Strategy: You may be dealing with abuse. Responding with abuse is fueling the war. The best strategy is to end the war. Learn to take control of your emotions. Leading by example you can get the other person to take control of theirs. Develop an instinct that helps you recognize when the atmosphere has turned bad and instantly inject laughter. Laughter has a huge healing effect. It’s when people take each other too seriously that causes wars. )
(With a big smile on your face say the following.)What I really love about you is…….. (Then say something that makes a parody of your situation. Example) What I really love about you is how you demonstrate kindness by cutting my head off with a sword. You are my knight in shining armor. (then get serrious) I love you BUT will you stop….. so that we can some day go upstairs and pretend to love each other again BECAUSE TRUTHFULLY… THAT’S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT YOU MOST you big dope. (Then walk away… Do not allow the conversation to continue without at least a 5 minute break. During that 5 minutes go read your Bible and beg God to take control of the situation. You will be amazed at your results.)
What is the greatest addiction for the human mind? TRUTH!
I suggest you also read the Bible twice a day. There is new teaching today showing how The Bible declares the end of the world begins on 5/11/2011. May God bring his plagues upon me if I am not declaring his truth faithfully

Clearly he is a bad drunk and you pick arguments at the wrong time. On top of it, you are not getting the message that you cannot simply leave him and think you will get your way if you do. That is childish. Tell him that you love him and ask him if he wants to see a marriage counselor.

Listen Charlie, There is a better way then a marriage counselor. My friend Mort is a marriage coach and you won’t have to even leave your home to get his words of wisdom for your marriage. He holds a boot camp for couples over the phone and one of you or both of you can get on the calls. Or you can just get his CD’s and work book. In the long run he can help you with your marriage problems cheaper than a counselor.

If money is really tight for you right now I have a relationship blog that may help you also and it’s totally free to read. What ever you decide works for me. I wish you the BEST!

dr drew has a new customer

If he is spending your last dollar to by his booze, then yes he has a problem!

There is a really awesome and free website you need to check out I just found it yesterday actually and I am loving it…I have tried counselling but it doesn’t really work I would recommend you get a book like the Love Dare book or this website because you need a game plan. Marriage counsellors just dig into your history and they made things feel more hopeless for us and we got worse. Thing is with programs like this and the book you have to stick with it. You can’t just stop or you will not see results. Good luck, and there is hope

stick with him
help him get through
the alcoholism and spice
things up. if you still
ain’t happy divorce is the
way to go.

Do you realize that YOU are the one who is asking forgiveness and keeps asking to go back with him.
Do you realize that he IS DEFINITELY an alcoholic and that he is making the excuses and that you are enabling him. I know exactly what you are thinking at this point. She is too hard on me, I am not that bad, he is not that bad.

Sorry, but I have heard this kind of story before. YOU are ruining your life by holding on to somebody who chooses alcohol over you. YOU are the one who keeps going back and believing it is your fault, not his.

Please, please "he doesn’t need the alcohol every day or minute" YES IT DOES MAKE HIM AN ALCOHOLIC!!

Do you want to live this way for the rest of your life. Do you WANT to be unhappy and be making excuses for an alcoholic husband. Do you WANT to have your low self esteem your whole life, or do you want to feel better about yourself.

YOU were so stubborn??? When I read your question at first I thought – no this must be a troll – no women would put the blame on herself to this extent, when it is obvious that he is the one who is to blame.

You and your husband USED to fight a lot?? You are still fighting. No, he did not say that he wanted the alcohol over you, because he was mad at you. He said it because it was true. An alcoholic always chooses the alcohol over his parents, his relatives, his friends, his co-workers, his wife, and his children.
He will always be like this because he has no intention of changing. He will always act like this because he has you to take up the blame. You are making the whole situation worse because you are living in an imaginary world of how bad you are and how good he is.

Unless you changing your thinking, and your actions, you will spend the rest of your life be utterly miserable and clinging onto somebody who chooses alcohol over you. It is up to you. It is your life! But don’t forget, the consequences of your choices are also yours.

Tell him you love him and it hurt when he said what he said to you. Tell him he would have felt the same way. If your husband spends the last money you have on booze he is an alcoholic, trust me, Im married to one and he has done that before. Its a problem when you have no food, but he ensures he is drunk. Just tell him you love him and let him know you want the counseling.

heard about the boy who cried wolf?

has it ever occur ed to you that maybe you two wasnt meant for each other?

either learn to deal with his love of alcohol (he is never gonna change) or move on.

trying to change who people are is such a fundamentally tough task to take on. And we are not just talking about getting him to pick up his dirty clothes or put dishes in the dishwasher. We are talking about years of counseling and meetings and he still will be tempted from alcohol for all his life.

he LOVES alcohol. my grandfather was an alcoholic and he LOVED to get drunk too. he learned to deal with it by going on 3 day benders away from everyone and he’d show up again when he was sober.

we accepted him and didn’t try to change him.

you’ve got to think things through.

There’s no doubt he already knows he has YOU wrapped around his little finger . . . and if he asked you would jump at the chance to get back together. The fact that HE has not begged for counseling, or to get his family (including YOU) back together again is a clear indication that he does not want to save the marriage. What he said was not because he was mad . . . it was the truth. If he was just mad, he would have called you the next day and begged you to come home.

You are living in total denial of your situation and forgive me for saying this, but you are acting very selfish preferring to have your child live with an alcoholic just because "you love him", and he did admit he takes alcohol over his child and don’t say he did not mean it, that will further add to your denial.

This life you are choosing to live cannot be fixed by a counselor, it can only be fixed by a caring and loving heart and this guy does not seem to have one towards you nor his child.

Its your life, your choice and your child, make the best of it and do not let insecurity and the "false sense of love" fool you and enslave you to a life of misery. If he needs it every weekend and tell you prefer the alcohol over you and his child, then yes, he is an alcoholic.

I think it is best that you all stay apart. When you have to fight with someone you love it is best to be apart. I no it hurts but if you take you mind off of it time will heal your wounds. Don’t go back move on.