my husband and I haven’t even been married two years yet and I think about divorce or leaving him every day. I feel he doesn’t appreciate me and isn’t even trying to be a good husband. We have different ideas about the way things should be i.e. financial, child raising etc. I feel i’m no longer attracted to him and can’t seem to tell him the truth about these feelings I hold in. We share two children together. I feel I HAVE love for him… but i’m not IN LOVE. Would it be wrong to stay for my kids? or leave to spare myself from an unhappy marriage?
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People always stay with there husband for there kids, and in some situations it’s really not a good idea to do that, do you two fight a lot? If so, that would be a good reason why you SHOULDN’T stay, not only for you but for your children. If you feel like your marriage is falling, try counseling. That can really help some people, try going away for a weekend with just you and your husband. Try to find something to spark up the fire you both use to have for each other. If you really do still care in a way, try those ideas and if they don’t work then you guys tried and it wasn’t meant. So, if all else fails, move on. You can still have a good relationship with him for the kids, but you don’t need to be married. Get your own place with you and your kids, and decide that either they live with you or him and who gets them on the weekend. I hope this helped. Good luck.
you should’ve talked about raising children, financial dilemmas, housing etc. with your husband before you got married…
maybe you should try TALKING and working on your marriage before you even think at ALL of just leaving him for dead,your kids will suffer ,heis WILL move away if you do that and you dont plan on ever coming back to him,maybe try counceling,or a good old heart to heart conversation ,financially thats the WRONG reasons to leave ,look at the economy,it seems like he has at times made ALOT of money but is probably having a some sabotaged breakdowns as hes trying to get his recent venture off the ground–IF YOU ARE A REAL WOMAN WITH A HEART YOU SHOULD STICK WITH HIM IN GOOD TIMES AND IN BAD-
never stay in a marriage for the kids sake why don’t you ask him to go to counseling with you.keep in mind that your well fare is the
important thing.divorce has a lot of problems because you can’t
afforded to support kids on what you make and family court and you and your lawyer needs to get child support set and visitation for the
dad.so you make up your mind.
If you’re unhappy and you do not think you can work it out, then I would not stay together just for the kids. Children base what they want out of a relationship on two things: 1, prior experiences in other relationships and 2, their parents relationships. If you stay together just for the kids, you’re teaching them that marriage is an unhappy event and that they will be miserable. On the other hand, have you tried everything to rekindle the spark in your marriage? Marriages go through rough patches like yours all the time. It doesn’t necessarily mean that the marriage has to end. It’s what you do and how you and your husband handle it that will either make or break your marriage. If you think it can be worked out, then work it out. Otherwise, just leave. Hope this helps
If you no longer love him ,leave him staying for the kids that’s a joke kids are smart and pick up on tension , and problem between mom and dads just make sure the kids keep an open line of communication with their father and you and help them maintain a good relationship with him , and everything should be fine
There seems to be a number of social ‘myths’ circulating regarding LOVE and IN LOVE. As if someone once read a book and the myth became reality. Wrong. There is a valid reason for what you are experiencing and it’s not what you think. Too any people have ended their marriages without a valid reason, although they do make excuses to justify it.
If this link doesn’t raise your awareness, then you two should look into marital counselling. Your issues are not difficult to resolve. Take this information and you can actually save your marriage, resolve your issues and make things that much better.
http://www.reuniting.info/science/sex_and_addiction
well, happiness doesnt come on its own, you need to have mental discipline to choose to love your husband. infatuation fades before 2 years, and its at that point that true commitment is needed to stay in a marriage. If everyone left their marriages when things got rough and they had doubts, no one would be married anymore. Till death do us part is exactly that, till death. It doesnt say "till I don’t feel happy anymore" if he isnt cheating on you or abusing you, your problems can and should be worked out. Love is a verb, it is a choice. I think you owe it to your children to get through this and God is expecting it of you. you can make your marriage better, but no one ever said it would be easy. I recommend first and foremost.. marriage counseling. I also recommend books like "boundaries in marriage" by cloud and townsend, and also "men are from mars, women are from venus" by john gray. the first book teaches the things WE can control in our marriages and how to become happier in our marriages, and the second teaches how to communicate and get what we want from the opposite sex, and how to give them what they want at the same time. both books are marriage savers. No matter who you end up with, marriage is going to be hard. It would hurt your children and break your promise before God to leave your husband now, in pursuit of something that you will never catch. Its better to just learn how to fix what’s broken, than it is to keep trading in for something new.
Im not saying you should stay in an unhappy marriage, obviously thats not good for anyone involved. Im saying you need to take steps to make your current marriage a happy one, that is the best option. it may take a long time, and your husband may not be on board at first, but it can happen, and its the right thing to do.
if you stay and have an unhappy marriage then your kids will suffer more than they will if you leave.Of course they will ask you when they grow up why you and their father aren’t together anymore but from personaexperiencece i can’t tell you that it will be much better for them if you weren’t with someone that no longer makes you as happy as he did in the past.There’s always though the let’s sit down and talk solution.I think it would be better to try that first and who knows maybe the fire will be lighten up once again.If that doesn’t work out then maybe you should stay apart for a while and see how that goes,And if that doesn’t do anything than just leave for good,for the sake of your kids at least.And i don’t think is your fault.Hope i helped
It’s honestly nobody’s fault. You’re just disappointed he isn’t what you’re looking for. Mere personal differences. It’s a fact of life shit happens. While it may seem like a good idea to stay together on behalf of the kids, what you’re teaching them is ultimately in a negative light: that you should always sacrifice your personal happiness in a relationship and that it’s also okay lead somebody on. If there’s a way resolve things, then go for the other path.
Do what is best for your children. The parents needs are not important except as they relate to the children’s welfare. Anyone that tells your differently is not a good parent.
Marriage takes work, from both sides. Being in love is not a long lasting phenomenon, or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that it comes and goes over the years. You made a life time committment. You are not saying that your husband is beating you, harming the children, or cheating on you.
I think you need to work this out for the good of your children.
Staying for the kids is not an option they will know all is not right. Also why sentence urself to a miserable existence . It’s ur decisionbut if all u can do is agree too diagree then call it quits. Try some counselling and perhaps u’s can meet in the middle on the issues
He changed that much after two years? Or you haven’t been able to "fix him"? You know how women go into marriage, with the idea they can "fix him" after they get their ring. Men marry women for what they are, women marry men for what they are going to make them.
No, you should retrospect and find out what went wrong between you two and then rectify those shortfalls for the sake of your kids.
I think you thought marriage was going to be a new home, white picket fence, new car and life like it was in the 1950′s. It isn’t. My guess it is the financial that is the biggest problem in the marriage. You need to talk about this and fix it for the sake of your marriage and the kids. If you think life is rough now, just try it alone with 2 kids. If you are looking around at girl friends that are dating, vacationing, having fun and you feel trapped, remember this was your decision so don’t take it out on your husband. Fix the problem and smile. He probably isn’t any happier than you are right now either.
My parents separated when I was a teenager, I wished they separated earlier. My mom was more miserable during the marriage. It would have been easier for them to separate early on than after us getting used to them being married. I think you should look for a guy who appreciates you better.