Sounds like nothing has changed at all. You arent important to him and obviously your children arent either. The sex thing, isnt being intimate, its just sex to him. How do you know hes not with someone else? Hes out late.

Honestly, if you havent gone to a couples therapist, try it. Explain what youre explaining here. Print it out even and read it. If nothing gets done with that, it sounds like you need to take your children and be on your own. Your resentment towards him may never go away.

First sex is the main thing with a man. you need to find out why you don’t want it more than twice a month, go back to what attracted you to him. normally this is the first block of the downfall. If the sex goes so does the marriage. win him back…….

He sounds abusive and thats putting it lightly.
If the love isn’t there, then its not a marriage, your just living with a person you don’t like.
Its not worth having the children be neglected and exposed to an angry person during their young/young adult lives. I would leave. From the sounds of it, you’ve tried to make it work, but sometimes you have to get your head out of the clouds and realize that the person you married 8 years ago isn’t the same man he is today…
Good luck (:

has infedility ever crossed your mind? or maybe he doing it because u let him put your foot down. i know it is easier said than done.but u can and should.

You have to make the decision–Do you want to save your marriage? Do you still love your husband and does he still love you? If you two are interested in saving your marriage, seek marriage counseling. If that doesn’t work or you guys don’t want to go there, try out a marriage enrichment workshop one weekend. It helps you deal with different situations in marriages, and you don’t have to say a word..It’s counselors talking to groups (like 2000 people) at a time. They’re worth is. Also, watch the movie Fireproof (with Kirk Cameron).. Get your husband to watch it with you. I’m telling you, it’s an eye-opener and a wake-up call. Good luck.

This man does not love you. Love makes us care first about our mate than ourselves.(However this is a 2-way street) We just can’t help it. Does he help and love his child? To me a house without love is not a home for a wife or child, or husband. Sometimes a broken home is better than a loveless one. And NO, not all men are like this. If you do divorce him, never settle for another man that cannot be loving toward you AND your child. No matter how long it takes. If you never find one, you’d be better off with no man.

Not all men…..If counseling can’t help, then perhaps it may not be worth saving. You have a full plate….Please be strong for YOU and your son! ♥

Dick less asshole! Do not wait leave NOW!

I’m sorry to hear your situation and the sad man you ended up with. I’m married to a marine who isn’t used to showing public affection! And he’s a little of a macho guy so I can relate some things but i understand your yearning for love. You can give this guy an ultimatum show me that you love me or we split. Explain to him first that you need to know he still loves you that you need support that you have feelings and want to feel taken care of. I understand what you want problem is men don’t! Their so insensitive sometimes they dont’ even realize it. You need to talk and work something out if he refuses then the douche bag isn’t worth you.

I had the same issue with my husband and please be careful with the counseling I went myself and my concealer kept enforcing me to leave my marriage..our marriage problem was we were distant that’s all but I kept going to counseling and she kept telling me i should leave so I did ..What a dummy I was let me tell you..I lost the best thing I was just stupid and listened to other people and not me concealers tell you what ever you want to hear remember you pay them so why tell you bad things Just take some time for you and your marriage you sound smart look you married her for a reason right??? Reflect back as to what made you fall in love with her what made you ask the question of marriage PLEASE don’t give up these days everyone answer is divorce I disagree it takes strong people to be married and stay married are you one of those people???

I wouldn’t stay together just for your child if you are no longer in love with her. If you don’t think you can fall back in love with her, then I think the answer is to split. You both need to find people who you are in love with! Life is too short.

No, it’s not! If he is physically hurting you, then he’s not a man, and he’s not worth your time. And btw children learn from this, your 15 year old son will see this happening and you not leaving is telling him it’s ok to hit woman. He’ll become an abuser too. Get out while you still can, before you get more seriously hurt!

nothing left to save, It’s already over. Get out before you’re seriously injured–or worse. The violence will increase as has the arguing.

honestly if he is hurting you he doesn’t repsect you and never will! my advice is to dump him asap , i konw its hard but ur at the point where marriage counseling will not save yuor mariage as its too late. ur son is older and will understand, ur new husband was trying so hard to keep his emo in check but he realized now that ur maried so he is letting his gaurd down which is why ur are experenicing his true temper. its not ur fault but it will be if u dont get out now and seperate from him as he could harm u or ur child.

good luck!

As soon as I read physical abuse, I read no further. There’s nothing to save here.

Get rid of him and quick.

Do counselling – if it doesn’t get better in a year then throw in the towel

I think she is just used to you..Im not saying their is no love but it’s not the kind of love that would keep her from cheating. In my opinion it takes a certain type of person to cheat and those type of people deserve to be with people like themselves. They need to leave us faithful people alone!!!

if children involved, you almost have to. I made a mistake like this and was 10000000% sorry, and i NEVER though about doing it again!
you must give it a chance to repair and if you do and it doesn’t work at least you can say you tried.

buy two books

men are from mars and women from venus (to understand how men and women think unalike)

another book on married couples and restoring the relationship

This probably isn’t the answer you want, but the truth is only you and your wife can decide whether your marriage is worth saving. You have been together for 10 years, so you know each other better than anyone else in the world. If you are not sure about the marriage, you should ask yourself a few questions. Do you still love your wife? Are you generally content with your relationship (notice I didn’t ask if you are happy because no one is happy 24 hours/day). If she hadn’t had the affair, would you still want to be with her? Do you generally treat each other with love and respect? Will you be able to trust and forgive her for the pain she has caused? Good luck.

Only you and your wife can answer that question. It depends on how much you love each and want to save your marriage. Some people can just say "no way" and leave, others are prepared to forgive and work on making their marriage stronger. Its up to you both.

If you want to work on it, marriage counselling would be a good start. Your wife will need to be completely open and honest, so you can regain your trust of her. If you say you want to forgive, you have to sincerely try to, not just bring up the affair and condemn her over and over again. Dont understimate the damage an affair can do to a marriage, some marriages never recover! But also realise that some marriages do recover with a lot of forgiveness and love, and can grow and become better after a huge shock like an affair. I believe its up to the individual couple to make their own choice.

You both have to work to make a marriage good. You have to ask yourself "What have I done for my marriage today?" Marriage is like a plant, if you forget to give it food, sunshine and water, it will die. Make your wife dress up nice and take her out to a nice restaurant as a surprise. Make sure you are taking care of your marriage, if that doesn’t work, then maybe it’s not meant to be.

If you love her then TRY to work it out. There is maybe a reason she cheated on you. I don’t condone that at all however. I wish my husband paid attention to me. The trust is gone that is hard to get back again.

try to spice it up. do new fun things if the moneys there maybe travel or something. if not take her somewhere new . do things diff. and seek counceling .

It’s really only up to you weather or not you think it is worth saving

If you had the ask this question, then no it’s not. Just being honest. It will be way too difficult to forget that terrible memory.

Hi DJR,

I am sorry to hear of these problems, especially with so much time (20 years) invested. As a good and hard working husband of 20 years, maybe it is time to work on you. I am a Life/Marriage Coach and help people life you all of the time. If you want, email me: Lou@attainmentlife.com

Basically, you need to find out if you want to truly work on the marriage with her or better of going forward on your own. Many people think this is a "slam dunk" choice, but it is far from it.

I know it’s not going to be easy, but I advice you to end the marriage. It’s good to be optimistic, but not at all times. Sometimes we get so optimistic that we don’t even realise that we’re just going around the circles.We tend to believe in people who don’t even believe in themselves. Your wife is not new at this and believe you me, she is not going to stop now.If you forgive her and give her another chance, chances are she is going to find another way of keeping the infidelity under wraps.

If you decide to persevere, know that you might get used to her bad ways to an extent that before she even does something wrong, you will be more than willing to forgive her. Forgiving can become a habit and it’s hard to break. Follow your heart, but don’t get trapped.The fact that you share children shouldn’t stop you from living a happy life. Love is not about the amount of time that you have spent together but what you feel for each other and will continue to feel. Good luck in resolving this. Remember that everybody deserves love and happiness. Even you.

She doesn’t seem very committed bt it has lasted a whole twenty years so I think it could be worth saving

If it were me I would cut her loose. Your wife obviously has cheating in mind, even if she hasn’t carried it out yet. Apparently this is a long term thing with her, which tells me she won’t change. You will be happier if you move on. Don’t waste even more of your life with someone who doesn’t really love you.

Wow, that’s a tough one.

I don’t have much experience with this. How confidently can you communicate with her about this? Would you expect to get a straight answer about anything?

Maybe she is just looking to spice things up in her mind, get some attention that is flattering, convince herself she’s still "got it" and maybe she doesn’t need to act out on these feelings.

Eh, still… not sure how I would feel if my woman were doing that.

Maybe you need to take a look at yourself. Are you interesting and exciting for her to be around? Do you take care of yourself physically? Have you any hobbies or interests that enrich your life and make you feel alive, that don’t involve her? … or even that do?

Maybe she’s just confused… feeling a little down… and feels like she needs some attention from somebody who’s not obligated.

Do you look at porn? Do you share all of whatever your secret fantasies are with her? I’m not saying you do or you should.. just trying to find a common thread here to relate to, like maybe this is just what gets her excited sometimes and isn’t really a big deal to your relationship and you could just let it run its course and give her space (hopefully she doesn’t actually follow through in the real world) and maybe concentrate on just trying to make yourself happy and alive, and also giving her some lively and positive and sincere attention.

You deserve better she must not understand the meaning of marriage its a lifetime commitment. It takes two to try and she’s not. You must love her to ask but if she can move on you can do way better. Good luck.

It sounds like she is starting to lose interest and move on, maybe is only staying because you two have been married for so long. If she is going to talk trash on you to her family and make you feel like you can’t trust her even after 20 years, I think it’s best to leave her.

It sounds like strong decisions need to be made and steps taken to back those decisions. The ultimatum is counseling together, to work out your differences……..OR the big D. You really do not have a relationship at this point. Your child appears to be the determination to marry in the first place. And at this point, to raise a child in this unloving atmosphere would be compounding your first, AND second mistakes….Cheating would be your 3rd mistake!…….♥♥

A marriage without sex is just a ticking time bomb, it means one party is just there out of obligation and is not being honest. Women tend to use sex as a tool to get what they want, especially in marriage. If your wife does not love you she should be honest and say so and not hold you hostage. You should speak to a divorce attorney.

Don’t divorce her. Take some time away it sounds like you guys need a break to sort some things out. When I say take some time away, this doesn’t mean you get to have sex with anyone, this is still cheating and you’re still married.

doesn’t matter if it’s sex, money or lies..
when you’re heart is unhappy, you’re unhappy..

meaning if the marriage no longer has a spark and you cannot find a way to mend things, it is ok to call it quits..

Think about ur kid dude, breaking up a family just cause u dont want to work ur problems out is stupid. you can get through it. TRY COMMUNICATING with one another. and get off that sexual im horny shit. shes ur wife love her

is this a real question? what would you stay for? even after a divorce, he’ll still have custody or visiting rights. he sounds like a very busy man as it is. he’s been spending time enough away from his kid, so what’s going to change in the number and quality of hours he’ll spend with his kid? maybe if he were on forced custodial or visiting terms, he’ll pay more attention to his child since he’ll have to take care of him/her himself and not rely on you as a babysitter while he goes out and does his thing.

IGNORE EVERYONE WHO TOLD YOU TO STAY!! get out of that messed up relationship NOW!!! its not worth it, when your child gets older (he or she) will understand. Go with your gut feeling (right now you are confused) but he is WAY more confused if you know what I mean. Maybe you are married to a gay man. I’m really sorry. Maybe he isn’t gay, maybe he loves you. I dont know. Good luck.

How can you be okay with your husband sleeping with women prostitutes, but get hinky when it looks like he might have a preference for men? Why does it matter who or what he’s sleeping with, once it’s come out that he’s cheating? Get out and get tested for STDs. When and if he gets his so-called addiction under control you can think about taking him back.

Yes, it is worth saving. It is about action and not preferences.

oh my…Yes, get out. Sex with men? Obviously since he is cheating there is something, or a void missing in your marriage. But to have that void be a person of the opposite sex means a lot.
Do you guys have sex a lot? Do you talk about sex? Did you know he liked sex like he does now before you got married? Sex with prostitutes is dangerous. You should go get test and so should he..

Good Luck

if he plays for the other team you should get out he has already put you at risk for disease by cheating on you he can still be a good father from a distance.

You really need a change in your life now.

No stay, go to craigslist and post an add for an orgy, invite men and women to come in and bang your husband, since obviously you are ok with him being with other people.

Yes, it is worth saving. It is about action and not preferences.

Gosh, this is a hard issue… Have you talked to your wife? It sounds like you have ALWAYS had this kind of relationship with your wife and you just didn’t know it. You keep talking about mine, my, her, and hers… where is the word "us"? You say YOU owe back income tax, why don’t BOTH of you owe the back taxes?

Usually, in good marriages, its "us". What are we going to sell, what are we going to do to pay our bills. My mom supported my Dad for almost three years too. But I can say my parents are still happily married and struggling TOGETHER.

But you also have to ask yourself: did I completely change after the accident? No one likes a whinny baby who is moody and complains all the time, especially from an adult. Where you REALLY not able to work a light duty job or did you just not find a job you felt was up to your standards. If the doctor said you could go back to work and you just didn’t, because you couldn’t find a good paying job, that’s bogus. If the doctor TOLD you specifically NOT to work, I see your point… but ever then you can’t just lay around the house. Did you become a stay at home dad? What I mean is, did you stay at home doing the cooking and cleaning? Did you start to do all the house work and maintenance? If not I see where your wife might be coming from.

I would not want my husband to make me bring home the beacon AND do all the house work and mantinence. Inseatd it should be a give and take. When my BF was laid off, I brought home the beacon and HE did all the house work and mantainence. If you left everything up to your wife and just sat around doing nothing or just hobbies… I would be upset too.

Financial burden is a tough one. Sounds like she already checked out of the relationship.

You had tools – I assume you were a mechanic or carpenter. Start your own business.

I wish you luck!

If you are married then you both took those vows "…for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part". You both have a mutual obligation to one another in your marriage. If she was ill and could not work or bring in a wage, would it not be your responsibility to take care of her and your mutual finances? Of course! It’s a two-way street. She made a vow and maybe point that out to her, it’s not just your responsibility. What you two accumulated in material riches you accumulated jointly. Maybe the thought of material possessions should be looked upon as "ours" instead of "mine" and "hers". Would she have "her" possessions and wealth if you had not been paying the bills that you jointly incurred?

As far as the job….Just a thought. At 60 years of age I would guess there is a strong chance you are a Viet Nam era veteran given the number of people who were drafted in that day. There are plenty of State and Federal jobs that will give you preference because of that status and even more if you are now considered disabled. Hang in there….Best of luck in your marriage, health and job search.

oh you poor thing, i feel like giving you a big hug! god she doesnt deserve a man like you! i am crossing my fingers for you that you find a job soon.
unfortunately you have made the mistake of letting her live the life of riley, she has had all her own money to splash around, and doesnt like to have that taken away.
she is acting very spoilt like a child, i think you need to sit her down and have a talk. tell her all what you’ve written here, ask her if she wants to live alone, and if so, she can pack her stuff and get out, cos i bet you paid for the house? if so, why do you need to go find an apartment? shouldnt she go and find an apartment? give her an ultimatum, be married, in every sense of the word, or be gone, her choice.

You know what Fred, you are a good man and a good husband to your wife. She really doesn’t know what she has. She doesn’t believe in her vows, "for better or for worse" and I know you love her, you must or you wouldn’t be asking this question. The sad part is, she doesn’t seem to love you anymore now that she has to pick up the slack because of your situation. There are a plenty of women out there who would appreciate someone like you. She isn’t even wearing her ring anymore and she goes out a lot, taking vacations without you and everything. There is no way that I would believe that she is being faithful. When you get yourself together, forget about her. You sacrificed a lot for your marriage, you tried to make it work, great effort on your part, so, you’ve been doing your duty. Good Luck Fred.

I think you are just going through tough times. I feel any marriage that has stood the test of time is worth trying to save. Maybe now you are healthy enough to find work things will change. you said yourself that while you worked you supported you both, things are different and she is having a hard time with the changes. Maybe make time for both of you to do something together, it doesn’t have to be something that will cost a lot, pack up a picnic, go for a drive, and most importantly talk to her. tell her how you feel… ask yourself how you feel, and if you still love her ( which i think you do) then try to save this marriage. Every marriage goes through tough times, it isn’t easy all the times, but it is worth trying. Good luck and I hope things work out for you.x

somewhere out there, your wife is asking this following question:

"my husband hasn’t worked in almost 3 years due to the accident, and now all he does is mope around the house, feeling sorry for himself and ready to give up on life at age 60. i’m ready to give up in this marriage"

see, before we can make up our minds, we have to hear both sides of the story.

the reason u feel the way u do is he has cheated several times on u.if he wants to work it out, both of u need to seek some Christian counseling,if you leave the marriage will be over with, only u can decide which way to go.he has to be willing to make things better, and acknowledge what he did to u hurt u, and that he understands how wrong it was.

When he cheated on you, he broke the bonds of marriage. The reason trust with him is difficult, is that he is not trustworthy. Talk to your family and let them know how you feel and why. Once you have their support, contact a lawyer and move on.

If you have forgiven your husband for his infidelities and you think he has changed and wont continue to cheat on you then I think you should try to salvage it. A divorce when you have two kids would likely be much more painful than enduring a marriage which is sometimes difficult. The fact is all marriages have their difficulties.

When we have children we become morally responsible for trying to provide the best parenting possible. Your children need both a mother and a father. If you can make the relationship work you should try. If you and your husband split your children will have to learn the sad reality of coming from a broken family. They will have to deal with alot of pain and issues from parents who they will end up feeling "didn’t care enough about them to make it work"

My father’s parents split when he was a little kid. He has so many issues from their divorce. For girls I understand its 10X as worse. To this day his mother still loves his father. She never got over him, even though she remarried.

Not worth saving

Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater get rid of him!!!!!

Get yourselves into marriage and family counseling. You are currently teaching your children that marriage is an agreement based upon lies and mistrust and that keeping things under the rug is better than airing dirty laundry and doing the work to clean it up.

Consider how this might play out in their lives as they age and start to make decisions about relationships. Would you want either of them to keep abuse under the rug, infidelity under the rug, drug or alcohol problems under the rug?

Hi,
My answer is that you had better read Save My Marriage Today( http://save-the-marriage.info ) written by Amy Waterman first.I believe that you can solve your problems after reading that book.
Good luck!

You have been married for only two years! If this is how he was before you married him why did you marry him and expect things to be different now. If he was not like this before then he probably changed because of the baby. However you must ask one question and one only before you proceed. Do you love him enough to fight and work hard to save your marriage? If you do then you need to go to therapy and work this out. Its going to be hard but you can do it if your both willing to try. If he won’t then and only then should you consider a divorce. That should be used as a last resort or in the case of cheating or abuse.

i would say no if he dosen’t love you for who you are then he obviously isn’t worth having as who wants someone who only loves you for how much you weigh????

Listen sister…I don’t answer these q’s for points…I really try to
tell as I see it……and feel it!!!
I hope you are not too far gone to consider other alternatives because your marriage is not a marriage at all! There is way too much drama and negative forces around you that will do nothing for you to find any balance!
Your husband is reckless and not in love with you. His ex sould be handled under strict ground rules supported by court order that he sould be enforcing….not you!
I feel really bad for you because tough times are ahead…
You need to get away from this situation for a while. Make some arrangements to stay with someone for no less than two or three months! Enough time to gain some kind of calm. Do not let him know where or when you make this move! Secure your finances quickly!
This is a very destructive situation….believe me…..I know!!!!!
You are and have been used up until this point….
In life, there will always be…..change.
Good things are waiting for you….
Good Luck!

The baby may not have been his, but she wouldn’t have said it was unless she had slept with him and there was a possibility that the baby was his. Considering the info you have given, I think he was intimate with her for at least some of your relationship. I also suspect that he is cheating on you now.

He treats you badly, lies to you, demands of you what he will not give to you and stays out all night on you. He is not good marriage material and it would be better to leave him now, before the baby is born.

If you stay, you will be starting over at a later date with two kids. If you leave now, you will have time to get set up before the baby is born. As far as the babies go, they will grow up accepting that their parents are not together and be ok with it…more so than they would be if you wait til they are older. Also, the relationship is not healthy and that can be more damaging to a child than a divorce.

first of all,dont end your marriage because of his ex. she may only be trying to get him back. have you confronted him about her allegations? if so,you should know based on his response wether she is lying or not.if you do choose to end it,do it because the troubles you and he have as a couple and not the ones his ex is throwing in. if he is demanding and staying out late with friends,then i personally would pack his things and put him out. its hard enough with the kids and you sure dont need him causeing you anymore trouble. having a second one on the way should be the "icing on the cake " for you to leave now. you will be stuck at home meeting up to his demands and the kids ,while he is out having a good time instead of doing his part and helping.leave him and be happy.you dont need to put up with crap like that.i wish you lots of luck!

Professional Counseling and a total break from his wife after counseling.

It won’t get better, only more stressful on you to please him. Before you get to a 20+ year marriage like I did get out now. I wish I did.

According to what you’ve wrote, if I were you, I would finish the marriage as soon as possible. It would be better if you never got married with him, but we can’t turn time back.

If you are financially unstable, contact the local shelters or social service agencies.

you should have married a real man….I was available, you should have called…..you still can….it is never too late…..

Only you can know the time, but I would cut my losses and leave.
I dont see this getting better.
I just see you getting hurt more and more.

If you have another baby, you’ll be linked forever, and if you do love him..constantly seeing him, ( for visitation of the child) it will be difficult to move on. You deserve better.
He’s not very mature.

He asked you to marry him as a joke? I’ve never heard that one before. He clearly does not love you if he really meant what he said. Leave him now before you become pregnant again. Divorces are so much easier and cheaper when no children are involved.

No. This one isn’t even worth counseling- get out before you ruin/ waste years of your life. He says he asked you to marry him as a joke????????????? Tell him you want a divorce and that you do NOT mean it as a joke. And for heaven’s sake- do NOT have kids with him- that doesn’t cure things, it only makes them more complicated to make a truly fresh start with someone who loves you one day. And if you love him, well you don’t love yourself enough. Get some counseling to figure out why you love a man that belittles you by calling you names and has sexual conversations with other women. Why would you even want to save it so early in when it should be clear you made a huge mistake in marrying him to begin with?

I think you need to read up on what love is, because I am seeing NO love in your letter, on either side. Just an unhappy and lonely woman and a man consumed with the dark side of sex.

He doesn’t want to improve your relationship and as it is, he is dragging you down with him.

No, I don’t think your marriage is worth saving.

Your husband sounds like a dick to call you names while you’re carrying (I assume) his child. Get some couples counseling or this marriage is doomed. You have a child to consider now and it makes more sense to raise a child in a happy home than in a miserable one with a daddy who calls his/her mommy names.
He could be just struggling with the sense of responsibility a baby will bring. Bottom line, it will take work but if you are successful you will be giving your child a wonderful gift, two loving parents. Good luck.

You always have the ‘option’ of divorce later, in the event that things don’t get any better. You have only been married for 5 months, you owe it to yourselves to at least try to work on things for a little while longer, and then see where you stand. Many many marriages have gone through even worse situations than you two have, and they have made it work anyway! You have to learn to forgive him, and then he has to work to regain your trust. Not easy, but would it be worth it? Absolutely.

I just watched an amazing movie last night, called Fireproof. It’s about a man trying to save his marriage that’s falling apart. Watch it and see if it changes your mind.

There’s a lot of great answers here.

If you’re still unsure, you should go to counseling. If he’s really serious about it, then go to couples counseling. If not, then get some counseling for yourself. They should be able to help you decide if you’re strong enough to move on or if you’re both willing to work on things.

I just find it strange that you’ve dated for 2 years and haven’t had any issues and now this issue suddenly occurs. I wonder if he was worried about you traveling for work.

i was in a relationship with an AMAZING man,i always thought that he was going to be the one i was going to marry.he ended up lieing to me, and cheating on me. we were done. ive heard alot of stories about him hopping around from girl to girl, he did the same thing to me, he told me after we broke up that he loved me and made a mistake, i wouldnt take him back, then a month later found out that he had sex with my BEST FRIEND. out of alll people. i forgave her for what she did because im not the type of person to hold a grudge, but dont be a fool, do what your heart is telling youu. im sure you are probably an amazing woman who can find someone who will sweep you off your feet, i know i did. the man that im marring in june is the best fiance and boyfriend that i could have ever asked for. i believe that if you cheated on someone, your not ready to settle down yet. but because you two are already married, i would suggest talking to him, find out why, ask him what was the reason for doing it, was he mad at you? did you do something wrong? are you not giving him what he wants? if he cant look at you in your face and tell you the exact reason why he did what he did, then i would suggest divorce, but give it some time, dont just jump to conclusion of divorce, remember that noone is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes

Well, just remember that its not you, it’s him. He is the one who hurt you. You need to do what your heart is telling you but you also need to sit down with him and get his side of the story. I know that its going to hurt but you have to see what he has to say about this and you have to determine whether or not you believe him. Cheating is never okay. Something had to drive him to cheat. Who he cheated with is also something to think about. If it was an old friend or girlfriend then he might be reverting back to old way and if it is some random girl he might be feeling trapped. Also you say that your sex life is amazing then why did he cheat on you? You have to take into account whether or not you’ll be able to fully forgive him so that you can love each other again and you have to think about whether or not he is likely to repeat the event. So, get advice from friends and see what they have to say but in the end you have to make this decision yourself. Also, don’t just stay in the relationship to make him happy, do what makes you happy because if he truly loved you he will be happy if your happy and if you stay in the marriage and act miserable that isn’t really fair to him. So if you don’t think that you could ever forgive or love him again then you have to break off the marriage. But if you put all the pieces together and decide that you still love him and that he is worth it then you should wait it out, but let him know your upset and that you can’t really trust him and that he needs to earn your trust back. But if you act like it isn’t a big deal then history may repeat itself and you’ll have to start this whole thing all over again. So do what your heart tells you.

As hard as this is, if I were in your shoes..I’d end it.

I would NEVER be able to trust him again, and without trust..there is no marriage. I personally (because of emotional damage that’s been done to me in the past) feel that once that initial trust is broken as badly as it has been here..it’s near impossible to get back.

If he is just as crazy about you as he was before, then he cheated because…why? His own lust? What makes you think he’s not going to do it again? That’s what would be going through my head.

I’m so sorry, but you REALLY deserve better than this. Everyone does.

Good luck

I’d see about couples counseling. Too many people are so quick to divorce now a days. If he does it again though definitely leave.

End it.

you have two options – but neither is stay and see how it goes
either leave – or get into couples therapy
you can’t just let it go and hope you feel better eventually – if you want it to work you have to work for it
revenge will not make you feel better either – in the end you’ll just feel worse