My wife and I are having problems with intimacy, I love her very much and she loves me very much, but she does not want to have sex with me. I heard that it could be a Psychological Problem or a Hormonal Problem. Its destroying our marriage, she wants to do anything to fix it.
She purchased the following books (still has not receive them) "the heart of the five love languages" , " His Needs, Her Needs" , and " The Intimacy Struggle" .
Also; She really wants to find a Sexologist/Psychologist in Orlando , FL. But we don’t know of any. Please Help.
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You are on the right track my good man go see a good therapist and all will be fine
good luck with it
You need to know the root cause to actually do something about it.
#1 She has to allow herself to get into the mood and has to teach you what works and what doesn’t.
You can’t just sit around and wait for you both to spontaneously be in the mood at the same time.
#2 If she was molested or raped in the past that will cause problems once you’re in the bedroom and can make her have a lot of anxiety about it (thus avoid it). Seek the sexologist for this issue.
#3 You have to ensure she orgasms most of the time. Some women are just naturally ‘hard’ and it takes a lot of work and effort on *both* her part and yours. Powered-assist (vibrators) are of great benefit here. Even if she’s not ‘hard’ on her own, if she’s taking any anti-depressants they inhibit orgasm.
#4 Are you certain she is straight? If she’s not attracted to any other men… then there ya go.
Make lemonade and have a threesome.
Note that is this not something people choose, it’s just what they are (or aren’t).
You say you both love each other a great deal so I do not suspect common relationship issues that are covered in the love languages et. al. books. You would both likely feel some animosity if that was the case.
What has changed? Is this something new?
Secondly, consider; "Okay, fine. I understand that. Will you be with me while I satisfy myself. I just want you to be there." This would be ew and creepy with a girlfriend or something, but with a wife, hey, no one in your life is more intimate with you than your wife. Besides, you’re probably doing this anyway.
It might help her through this, it might get something going and it might give her a role in the intimacy even if it is not the generally accepted role. She doesn’t have to do anything if she doesn’t want to other than be there, but she could put a hand on your shoulder, touching you. If she’s up to it, she could let you touch her, but only as much as she wants to be touched. Bottom line, maybe you can work back into it and change her attitudes/thinking in the process.
The two of you should try reading "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary D. Chapman. Find out her love language. It could be words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch, but it is imperative that you discover it/them. If she likes physical touch, give it to her. Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone in order to please her. Women need to be warmed up and reached in their most powerful sex organ, the brain/mind.
I wish I was there where you two are. Oh the places you will go. Why do I feel like there is more to this story than you have told us? Come on, spill it. What’s the rest of it? Please don’t keep me waiting. Smooches.
Try googling "couples therapy+Orlando, Florida". Beyond that, why didn’t you know this about her already before you got married?
uh…yellowpages