My mother-in-law is a negative person in general. She is critical and finds fault in everything. She is a bitter old woman. She criticizes me in front of my husband, and my husband tends to act on her criticism. He then starts to criticize me about the things she talks about.
She is mean to my son (from another marriage) and sweet to my daughter (from my marriage now with her son). Last night she snipped at me about not getting onto my son (12 years old) for saying the word "butt". I was going to handle it in another room by talking to him away from other people, but she thought I should yell at him right there or treat him like a 3 year old. My husband did not say anything and this morning he yelled at me (not normal behavior) over cooking sausage.
It seems like every time we go over there my husband is difficult to be around for a few days. I try to talk to him and he gets mad. I know she will never change. How will I deal with this?
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hey..m really worid for my marid life…m not yet marid bt wud b getin marid soon..m in a relationship since past 6yrs ..n i know guy’s family since 4yrs…in starting my wud b mother in law ws ok wid me bt aftr 3-4 months she showed her true colors……
she z diffrnt kinda lady ..physcho as per doc sayzz..not mad actually bt she wants evrything acc2 her…she wants evry1 2 apprecitae her only..n she starts feeling jealous very soon…she pretend sumthing else n is sumthing else….n evry1 in her family knows dat…
now da problem z dat my fiance knows her well…her drama n tortures etc…infact she does dat in frnt of him many a times n he feels sorry n sumtimes cry also n alwayzz ask sorry datzz it…bt never stops her…duno y….itzz not dat he z moma boy bt his nature z lik dat…he evn nvr says anthing to any 1 in his family no matter wat da hell dey doing with him…his family z kinda diffrnt i hav come across….dey actually use him,criticize him n neglect wat all he says…he z lik a puppet…he realize dat dey dnt give a fuck 2 him bt still he z kinda “”gr8 man”" who kipon worshipping dem…he sometimes abuses his mother cz he knows dat she z alwayz wrng…..bt wat 2 do?????
no matter m a gal or daughter in law bt dat doesnt mean dat she’l b saying shit n i have to swallow dat….
i have told u abt me(m quiet cz of my fiance),my fiance(realize evrythin bt cant sy no mater sumbdy z doin wrng 2 me or him \aswell),my mother in law( she z a big time drama lady who dnt lov her son dat much bt all she want z preference 2 her),father in law(he z nice bt as he remain outside for mny hrs n as my mother in law z clever so she never speak out sumthin in front of him)…
n i want my fiance to tell evry bit abt his mom 2 his dad cz he z da only 1 who can kip hold on her…n he also knows dat his wife z a big tie drama co. n he knows me also..dat m very gud n nvr speaks out bad 2any1….my fiancee has gone 2 abroad for job n atleast for 3-4yrs he wont b cumin back 2 settle in india…m happy bt at da same time m worid cz dis lady can ruin our life …..i want 2 xpose her in front of dad in law so dat later also she dont start creating problems…
cz she gives slow poison…remain quiet n gives indirect taunts n sumtimes direct also…i feel lik killin her…wat 2 do..plzz do help me…hw can i make my fiance strong 2 atleast say TRUTH in front of evry1…i dnt want fights stuff etc…i want her mouth shut..datzz it..n dat can b done by dad only n if my fiance atleast start saying sumthin or make her stop doin dis shit….
thanxx
hope 2 get a rply soon..
Hi,
I’ve been there before and know exactly what you’re going through.
The way I solved it was by getting divorced as I couldn’t take it anymore.
Today, 4 years later, I am happy and know that I made the right decision.
Only, it’s not necessarily the right one for everybody.
Having said that, you do need to react now, or it will dragg you down so much that you will end up taking pills for depression.
Please do stand up to both of them.
You are not a little girl anymore; 1) You are an Adult; 2) You are a Woman; 3) You are a mum yourself!!!
I did love my husband, and I wish I had done something earlier.
But I had taken so much that I couldn’t anymore.
Divorce has to be the last measure, especially if you love your husband and if you know he loves you.
A mother in law is not worth breaking your marriage over.
Plus I felt guilty for at least two years; You do go through a very difficult time.
Now it’s true that I have my self confidence and self esteem back, and am not ready to take any nonsense from anybody any more!
But I learnt it the hard way.
Try and go to your family for a few days;
Try and take a regular break from your husband.
He will miss you and that might give him food for thought.
When your mother in law is there, in your house, do go out with your children if you can.
You don’t have to entertain her.
Have visitors;
Whatever you do to make you feel good, do it! REACT.
Don’t just cry, it will change nothing.
Be strong, and if you want to remain married and occupy your place, which is the woman of the house, REACT.
Good luck. KC.
xxx.
The child who lives with criticism,learns to criticize.I am sure you saw these behaviors before you married him and yet here you are married to his mother and her clone.I wouldn’t want my kids around such behavior because these people will alter the personalities of these kids and from the sound of things the alteration will be negative.Your husband is a grown man and if he’s so use to this behavior that he won’t seek helpp then you should and then get the hel* out of there before you allow these people to create monsters out of your precious children.
You need to get your husband to realize that he is not a child anymore, and that you are his family now. He can’t be your husband, and his mommy’s little boy at the same time, and it’s long past time to make a decision about where he wants to go in life. If he can not be depended on to be on your side…how can you expect him to be there for you at any other time?
Talk to him, and let him know that you have had enough of this behavior, and present him with that choice. If you keep accepting this sort of treatment from him, you will have a very bad marriage…and it’s no fun just hanging around waiting for someone to die…hoping it will get better.
You have several ways to handle this situation. All are very hard. One is to accept what she does as, what she does and let if roll off your back, and when she talks to you about how to discipline your son, you can in a calm voice but firm, thank you for your suggestions but I will handle my family in my way and in my time, You did a wonderful job in raising my husband but there are many ways of skinning a cat. I understand right from wrong and I will discipline my family in my and my husbands way.
Or you can get mad at her throw her out of the house and tell her to never come back… Not very unacceptable.
It is obvious that she is very strong and your husband cannot stand up to her. You also need to talk to your husband and be very firm with him to understand this is A BIG problem for you and you both need to understand how to deal with her,so consoling is in the cards for you two. Good Luck
ok just don’t talk
Tell Mama’s boy he’d better shape up and decide who the hell he’s spending the rest of his life with, You or his Mama!
He’s got to get some cajones and stand up to his mother and let her know that you are now his priority. If he can’t do that, is unwilling. Well, you got a tough choice to make. Divorce or put up and shut up!
tell your dad
talk to here tell way you feel
Simple…..You take a stand and put your foot down.
First, your husband is a momma’s boy for not standing up to his mother. You married a coward. He hsould have the respect to defend the mother of his child when criticized by others…even mommy. Therefore, if you continue to stay with this coward, it is up to you to stand up for yourself.
Whenever your mother in law, or anyone for that matter, corrects you with disciplining, punishing or raising your children, you need to look them straight in the eyes and tell them to stop and say "I’m sure you mean well, but this is my child and I will do what I think is best for them". Be fair and impartial. Then you say no more and go on your merry way. If your coward husband chimes in to defend his mother, you simply say "this is not the time to discuss this right now." "We can discuss this after company has left." You see the pattern here? YOU TAKE CONTROL OF THE CITUATION since nobody else is. Stand firm and confident. In time, they will both realize you are no longer tolerating their behavior. You will also set a good example for your children.
Stay away from her if she can’t bite her tongue and mind her own business! You are not obligated to visit her. If she comes to your house SPEAK YOUR MIND. Your husband will come around sooner or later. Or else!
Stand up for yourself and for your son. Tell your husband to be a man instead of a momma’s boy, and tell your mother-in-law that she’s not welcome in your home unless the learns to treat you and both your children with respect.