Comments on: Pregnant, divorcing, and can’t stop crying!?

By: Mallory

Mallory — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 22:22:45 +0000

Hello. I hope you and your husband are doing well. I have been married to my husband a year and he has 2 step-daughters who I love to death. I amb pregnant but month before I got pregnant we were fighting and I was packing. We ecided to work on us…I love him with everything in me…but since I lost my job and have not been able to find work…we fight because we can not live without 2 incomes. I understand how you feel…but if your husband is trying..you need to try to remember how you felt when you just got married…and now you need to think about your child. My husband tries…but he also can be very mean. I love him to death and never seen us splitting up. I am hoping that things will get better…but for now we are taking it one day at a time as well. Its so hard when your hormones are raging…so do what I do..count to five In your head before you talk…lol god bless you all and I hope you work out your dxifferences…like my husband and I plan to do.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

You really need to tell your husband about the baby.
If you both want to be together, simply get marriage counseling. It won’t cost nearly as much as a divorce and you both may end up happier in the end. Every family goes through rough spots and fighting. My husband and I have been together for 5 years, much of that spent fighting. We were just too immature for marriage but instead of giving up and divorcing we sought counseling and learned to grow up together instead of against each other.
Talk to your husband and find out what he wants. You shouldn’t stay together JUST for the baby’s sake, but if you both think you may be jumping the gun, stop the procedings and seek counseling.

By: latte_queen2000

latte_queen2000 — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Tell your husband RIGHT NOW, he’ll only resent you for it if you wait. Get a personal counselor too. You’ll only benefit from having a professional give you tips and advice.

By: cowgrl2205

cowgrl2205 — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

You need to tell him. He is, after all, the father of the baby. It may not help matters, but he has the right to know that he is going to be a daddy. Be strong and hang in there. Once it’s out in the open and you’re not keeping this secret from him, you’ll feel a little bit better.

By: totalstressor

totalstressor — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

If you are keeping the baby – then you have to tell your husband. If you are not keeping the baby then I wouldn’t say a word.

Sometimes people like each other they are just better off not married to each other – I know several couples who still do holidays, bbq together even with their new spouses, but just didn’t get along as a married couple.

You need to decide what you are going to do so you can move on with your life.

One thing if you tell you husband about the baby and he doesn’t want to get divorced – the baby only complicates things more – don’t think it will fix your marriage.

Good luck – I know its a tough predicament.

By: yourstruly

yourstruly — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

I think you should tell your husband about the baby asap. It’ll probably make problems worse if he knew you knew about the baby for awhile. And hey, this baby might bring you two back together.

By: christeehbeeh

christeehbeeh — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Sorry to hear your situation but this moment you need support from your husband you have to tell him about the baby. He will be thrilled with the baby. I think your husband care about you.

By: Valdavia M

Valdavia M — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

You need to be honest with yourself first-if you will always love your husband and he’s a decent guy, is divorce really the answer? After you’ve figured that out, you need to tell him how you feel before you tell him your pregnant or proceed in court and include child support, visitation etc. You may have to rethink your career move if he wants to be involved.

By: Kishauna_P

Kishauna_P — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

The things we women can carry on our shoulders is quite amazing isn’t it?? I was divorced when I was pregnant with #3… I told him and you should too. You could face legal reprocussions if you don’t. And seeing as how he is as you say a decent parent I fail to see why you shouldn’t. If the news causes another rift well then oh well… you’ll cross that bridge then. Tell him, he may be suprisingly supportive. You can’t lose anymore than what you already have…. You’ll do fine,… lesser women do it everyday and survive… you can too.

By: jbird

jbird — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

You are not going to feel any better about hte situation until you tell him. He and the child have a right to know each other. You have been together for 5 years and still care for each other maybe you might need to try to work things out again. Maybe this is the Lord’s way of bringing you back together. Try telling him face to face if possible and let him know that you are just telling him so that he will know and you don’t have any expectaions. If you do want to try a diffrent approach to save your marriage it is not to late. Check out this website. It is a great confrence to go to and really gets to the bottom of any problems you may have in your marraige. Don’t give up. If there is any way please give it one more try to keep your family together. Best wishes to you.

http://www.familylife.com/conferences/wtr_conf.asp

By: TrollDollLover

TrollDollLover — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

I think you should tell him asap. He obviously cares about you still to find out about you not feeling well and he’s calling you. I think you should try getting counseling. You might still love the guy. I have been in your shoes..My husband and I argue..we get in tears, but we still care..but still at times argue. This baby is probably something positive to bring you guys together. Stop crying and let him know your pregnant. Do it for the baby. Too much stress can be harmful for your baby. Get counseling..if that doesn’t work then its over.

By: lily

lily — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

How dare you even think of keeping this information from your husband!!!!!

No wonder this "situation" is affecting your life… it should.

Tell him now, the better.

By: Mommy

Mommy — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

My husband and I have been married for 5 years, too. I can’t count the number of arguments we have had…….many, many, many. Does my husband cheat? No. Does my husband abuse me? No. Does my husband abuse drugs or alcohol? No. Does he tell me I am pretty and my hair looks good? No. Is he perfect? No. Do I love him with all my heart? Yes!

No man and no woman are perfect. But I truly believe unless there is abuse or addiction going on in a marriage, any problem can be worked out.

We now have two small girls. I am so glad that my kids have two parents to love and nurture them. My sister is a single mom and boy oh boy does she have a rough time. And it shows in her sons behavior.

I wish the best for you and your husband. Your hurt must make you feel like giving up sometimes. I can’t imagine what you are going through.

Make a decision, though. If you are going to work on your marriage then do it 110%. If not then put a smile on your face and move on. You must figure this out and fast for the sake of having a healthy pregnancy.

Finally, I am so sorry to say this, but you are not being fair to your husband by not telling him about this child. This is going to create some major trust issues if you don’t tell him right away. You have no right to keep this pregnancy from him.

Good luck and be strong. You can do it………after all you’re a woman and we woman are STRONG and BRAVE!

By: anjelahoy

anjelahoy — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

yeah you need to tell him whether you work things out or not he should know!

By: deepali s

deepali s — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

first of all I am feeling very sorry for you.
but I think you should tell your hubby right now.and you said that you both tried to make things work.so I suggest try it once again.you know fighting is ok because wherever there are two people who love each othe they will talk,discuss things and if they dont like then they fight.
Pregnancy is a very good periob for bonding or I can say sometimes its quite romantic.As husbands take care of you in every step.so dont do mistake by not telling him.once baby will come everything will be fine between both of you.atleast give it a try for your baby.may be he will bring happiness in both of your life .and after knowing that you are pregnant may be things will become good because there is nothing to lose as you are already getting divorce.
but whatever happens dont cry.take care of you at this time.meet your friends.
Good luck

By: Diamond

Diamond — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

if you are arguing and fighting all the time it will not be good for the baby
He has a right to know you are pregnant but I would not move back in with him. Let him visit you and be friends keep it like that
In a good relationship pregnancy puts a strain on it