Trying to save my marriage…?

Posted on January 23, 2011 by admin

I am trying to save my marriage. Me and my wife got married when I was in the Army, I hurt my back and got discharged in May. 3 weeks later she kicked me out and told me she wanted a divorce. We went on a few dates and were talking regularly for a little while and then after our 2nd date she said that she still wanted a divorce. Any help here would be appreciated. Thanks.

P.S. For the record we are both 19. I know real young to get married but hey what can you do?

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11 Responses to Trying to save my marriage…?

  1. The_Dude says:
    January 23, 2011 at 5:18 am

    You may want to consider marriage counseling. There may be nothing that can be done, but with an impartial third party involved, they may be able figure out why this is happening to your relationship. Sometimes, people get married for the wrong reasons. It sounds a little suspicious that she kicked you out only 3 weeks after your military discharge. Perhaps she married you for the steady income and stability, and when that came to an abrupt halt, she wanted out.

  2. sdgsgirl says:
    January 23, 2011 at 5:18 am

    Hmm, I feel like there’s more to this story than you are telling (or maybe more than you know) which makes it difficult to answer but I would say back off a little and let her have some space. Leave her alone for a few days or more, don’t call, don’t text. Wait and let her contact you. Sometimes this works but I mean, if you all have problems that need to be dealt with, that isn’t going to fix them obviously.

    I mean, I could tell you to send her flowers, write her a letter, whatever and those things might be nice but if you don’t know, you need to figure out what the problem is and try to fix it. I mean, if you have trouble expressing yourself or if y’all end up arguing then you seriously could write her a letter of how you feel and the questions you may have about what has gone wrong. Ask her to write you back rather than tell you. It’s hard to argue with a piece of paper. It forces you to listen. Good luck.

  3. K H says:
    January 23, 2011 at 5:18 am

    I’m sorry to say this, and as I know you don’t want to believe it, but you married a girl who had ulterior motives. This girl was with you for the security of your paycheck, and the benefits. It’s unfortunate, but it happens all the time. I am also married to a soldier (though we were married long before the Army, and are much older) and it breaks my heart to see this happen, yet I see it all around me often. I’m glad you are aware you got married too young, and likely too fast, but you’ll learn from it and not go down that road again. I’d walk away now, and go forward with the divorce. She’s only going to be around when it’s beneficial to her, and you deserve better.

  4. zoom says:
    January 23, 2011 at 5:18 am

    Are you still able to have sex/perform the same, with your back injury? (since it was serious enough to get you out of the army)

    You need to say what her reasons are for kicking you out? Did she explain herself? Do you sit around the house all day, moping?
    Does she have a secret lover and cannot have access to him while you are at home all day? What?

  5. Pam says:
    January 23, 2011 at 5:18 am

    Something else is going on with your wife, especially because she is a teenager and too young to be married in the first place. If you have been married for under a year, get the marriage annulled. This way if she thinks she can kick you out and continue receiving benefits from the Army, she is sadly mistaken.

    Also, she has no legal right to kick you out of your house/apartment. Why did you leave? Legally, you are allowed to stay. If she doesn’t want to be married to you any longer, let HER ass leave!

  6. michelle r says:
    January 23, 2011 at 5:18 am

    first off, dont have kids with her. if she cant handle a husband with a bad back, then she’s not going to be able to properly handle children with all their imperfections.

    yes, at 19, that was way too young to get married. if there’s no possibility of working it out even with marriage counseling, then do yourself a favor and get a divorce.

    then dont get married again for several more years. wait until you get back on your feet, get some schooling & a degree, get a real career, etc. dont rush into things yet again. wait until you are truly ready.

  7. * erica * says:
    January 23, 2011 at 5:18 am

    Yeah, that is young to be married, which is probably part of the problem. If you want to try to salvage the marriage, see if she’ll agree to marital counseling first. If she refuses or if she’s still adamant about the divorce, there’s not much you can do, so just let her go. Good luck.

  8. lovedil says:
    January 23, 2011 at 5:18 am

    let her go she is not interested in you and may not give you as much love as u want..you are still young and u may get a good one..all the best

  9. 'Sunnyside Up' says:
    January 23, 2011 at 5:18 am

    The best advise I can give you is to fireproof your marriage. Go to the site below. Purchase this movie from any Christian Bookstore or from this site. Do the 6 week Couples’s Seminar if she is willing but for sure you need to get the book that the dad gives to his son in this movie and do it. It will turn you and your marriage totally around. This is a marriage movie that has turned millions of marriages around all over the world. Do "The Love Dare" that the dad says to do and don’t skip a day. Once you commit to it you cannot stop but if you continue you will see victory. God bless your marriage. It is in his hands since the beginning of it so let him lead it now.

  10. chebrew2000 says:
    January 23, 2011 at 5:18 am

    Since no children are involved, let her go.

  11. yvette says:
    January 23, 2011 at 5:18 am

    I hate to say it but i would say there is more going on than meets the eye with your wife. Give her the divorce and find someone else.

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Trying to save my marriage?

Posted on January 23, 2011 by admin

Okay I just don’t know what to do. I am trying to save my marriage and it has been so hard. Things have just been very hard. Arguments that lead into to ugly battles and know I am seeing someone trying to deal with the anger issues I have and dealing with the personal problems that I have from childhood abuse. I’m really trying to change but for some reason this attitude of mine finds its way out no matter how hard I try to keep it. My husband hurts me so much he wants me to get help but then he want be with me while I getting help and that hurts. I get told work on yourself and when I see change maybe we can start. Well Im not going to change over night and I don’t know how to make him see that. Yes I have issues and yes when he wanted me to work on two years I was not ready and now I have made a commitment to fix these problems I have for myself, my daughter and him. But I just don’t feel he really wants me to come home. I think our marriage is over and that is breaking my heart everyday. Any advise.

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2 Responses to Trying to save my marriage?

  1. Ricky says:
    January 23, 2011 at 5:08 am

    The first question you should be asking yourself:
    • Is my life better with, or without, my present partner?

    If someone is dragging you down, being non supportive, belittling you at every turn, & verbally/emotionally/physically abusive, what’s the point of staying together? You definitely don’t want your daughter exposed to any of that.

    But is the problem really more you than him? You had 2 years to work on the problems & weren’t ready. That’s a long time for someone to wait.

    Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be?

  2. Tao says:
    January 23, 2011 at 5:08 am

    Go and sort these problems you have , for no one other than you sweet, you are unhappy as you read this, are you fed up being unhappy , are you fed up crying, are you fed up feeling alone and tired and unsure of your future, you must stop hurting yourself with shame and guilt they are what fear uses to keep you like this, do not use him or your daughter for reasons to go, be brave and be strong and in the morning ring the doctor who you have chosen to see and do this for you. then you can hold your head up high and life will be lighter again. then you can choose what to do with your marriage

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trying to save my marriage?

Posted on April 26, 2010 by admin

me n my man have been together eight years and jus recently had a split up and been back together for eight years .. we r dealing w everything that happened and jus trying to get it al back together … we r talking about getting a counselor ………. i wanna do everything i can to make this work !!!!!!!!!!!! what do i do

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  4. how can i fix my marriage? ok so here it is ive known my wife for 3 years and been married for 2..she told me 2 days ago that she doesnt love me, have feelings and she doesnt wanna be with anyone, she said she felt … Continue reading →...
  5. Can marriage be saved after violent incident? My husband exploded in a rage, and caused bruises. I filed a police report, got a protection order, and I will be seeing a counselor next week. I miss him and the kids so much (his kids), and would do … Continue reading →...
  6. How do I fix my relationship? Im waitN 4 marriage 2 have sex. We both WANT 2 have sex, but I have my morals.. He said he dont cheat, and we both DONT wanna break up. We both cried about our situation and he tells me he really loves me and I really love him to. He wants to be in a relationship where … Continue reading →...
  7. Trying to save a marriage after an affair…..she went out with girlfriends for valentines day.? We have been working on our relatinship for 3 months. Just the past week thing started getting better. She stayed home for a whole week, first time since May. But today I came home from work and found a card; … Continue reading →...
  8. How do i fix my marriage after so long? My wife and i have been married for 8 years and she says i have been absent fom her life for 4 of those years….mainly from me playing a video game that i was adicted to. I have quit playing … Continue reading →...
  9. Divorced or soon to be divorced people, do you wish you had tried harder to save your marriage? Do you still love and wish you were still married to, or there was hope to stay married to, your (ex) spouse? Or, was/is divorce the right answer and you are/will be happier? I am happy that my marriage has … Continue reading →...
  10. Would you save your marriage or choose divorce? I know this is ultimately my decision but I would like to see what others think or what they would do in this situation. My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years, together for 6 years (both … Continue reading →...
  11. Marriage Problems Please Help Me.? I have been married with my wife for 6 years and in the last year we have had a lot of problems. Well she went to stay with her family to have some time apart to see if we could … Continue reading →...
  12. Can my marriage be saved without a counselor?My husband and I have recently been having problems.? and we were to have gone to see a marriage counselor. Well, on Saturday I somehow got through to his cell phone and I heard him conversating with another girl .He and her were talking about how they cant stand … Continue reading →...
  13. marriage problem whats your advice? me and my husband has been married for 7 years. i got married at 16 and him 18 now we have three girls 6, 3 and 9 months old. throughtout these years he’s broken my heart once, and hes addicted … Continue reading →...
  14. Do you think marriage counseling is a postive or negative thing to do if you are having problems? I wonder because I know a couple that went to a counselor and it seemed to make their marriage worse because they found out the counselor was a big hypocrite and didn’t practice what he preached....
  15. Help, what can I do to save the marriage. I feel that I am the only way that feels that way. thanks!!!!? Hello, I have been up all night I am struggling how to take the next step. My wife Stephanie, we have been together for 8 years. One year married. She just told me that she loves me but not enough … Continue reading →...
  16. Whats Next On his List of trying to Fix this Marriage? Ok we went to counseling and I was right…back fire on him hes waiting for the counselor to tell us what to do..and yet she told us the same thing I have been telling him along.Working on our issues,and yet … Continue reading →...
  17. how to save a marriage? we fight all the time but we are passionate about each other..we make love all the time and we still are crazy about each other..i love him and we have 3 boys..how do we get along..the fights are usually about … Continue reading →...
  18. What can I do to fix my marriage? This is a long one! My husband and I moved from Ohio to Illinois. His whole family is in Ohio. My dad had passed away in 2007 and my mom lived with us in Ohio. Then in May of this … Continue reading →...
  19. Why would I want to attend counseling to "save" my marriage? What will a counselor do for me? All I want to do is have sex with different women. Now how is a counselor going to help with that? Is he/she going to setup some 3 way "appointments" or something?...
  20. How can I contest a divorce in California? How can I save my marriage? My wife and I have be married for about a year and a half. We’ve had alot of problems during that time. We broken up with each other too many times. It has taken me losing her to relize that … Continue reading →...
  21. marriage problems? ok, so about a month ago my husband threw me and my two kids out because he was interested in some other woman. I stayed at my moms for awhile. After being at my moms for 2 weeks he asked … Continue reading →...
  22. Might there be a chance for my marriage to be fixed? My husband and I are both 21, married almost 2 years.. 16 month old son. He left us May 31, and I was always a short tempered, agitated easily person (but he also had a bit of a temper). He … Continue reading →...
  23. Why do people think counseling will always fix your marriage? I see so many comments/responses to the questions from people who want to know what they should do when their spouse is in love with someone else or if their spouse doesn’t want to be in the marriage anymore. I … Continue reading →...
  24. will a separation work to fix my marriage? My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years. we are young and don’t have kids. About a year ago we both made decisions to start new careers and go to school so in turn we moved out … Continue reading →...
  25. Husband advice…can I save our marriage? My husband and I have been married for almost 6 years (dating for 3 before married) and we’ve always been best friends. Our relationship like any other has always had ups and downs but we’ve always been able to talk … Continue reading →...
  26. Marriage problem what to do? My wife and I our having a baby in about 5 months a while back I lost my job because we got married and my job didnt premit it. I had a real hard time finding a decent job for … Continue reading →...
  27. should i divorce my neglectful husband who refuses to go to councelers to help save our marriage? my husband and i gave been married going on 3 years any time i have ever needed him he has noy been there like when i had a miscarrage but yet i dropped out of college totake care of him … Continue reading →...
  28. MY WIFE AND I HAD AN ARGUMENT LAST NIGHT. SHE SAID OUR MARRIAGE IS OVER. HOW DO I FIX IT? First of all, I went to pick her up at work as usual (9pm), I had two beers after I got off work (6PM) (she hates when I do this during the week. I had a bad day and was … Continue reading →...
  29. What do you consider normal marriage problems? I have a friend [of 16 years] who has been with this guy for 9 years they have been married for the past 2. He has used Meth since the year [about] 2001 and she has said she will leave … Continue reading →...
  30. please help me fix my marriage without separation or divorce? here is my problem. Im twenty and my husband is 21 we were marries a year and a half ago ans we have no kids. but for a while he says that im not the person that i was when … Continue reading →...
  31. should i divorce my husband i caught him calling another woman and he said he would stop but didnt? 2 years ago he had an affair and in april of this year i caught him calling another girl from work i asked him not to talk to her again and he has been promising me that he hasnt been … Continue reading →...
  32. Please help me save my marriage? My sex drive is completely gone. It has been about two months since the last time we had sex. It’s not his fault; it’s mine. I love him and I am in love with him, but as far as I … Continue reading →...
  33. Do you have any suggestions to help me save my marriage? After my father-in-law died my husband became depressed – he is still depressed to this day and our marriage is on the verge of being over. It’s been 4 years since his father died. We went to conseling together a … Continue reading →...
  34. Should we divorce because he can’t stop thinking of her? Salaam Alaikum, I am really in need of advise about my husband. We preformed nikkah a couple months ago and I have really fallen for this guy. He seemed to be a great guy and seemed to care and love … Continue reading →...
  35. Is it possible to fix such a marriage? I’ve been married for 17 years and the past 10 yrs. have been more than less very unhappy. We don’t do anything together anymore, we barely talk to eachother and there is almost nothing in common anymore. Our marriage started … Continue reading →...
  36. Girlfriend issues – future marriage problems? My girlfriend and I were talking about things just for fun and some things bothered me. Keep in mind this would all be many many years away. She said that she never wants to have kids and doesn’t want to … Continue reading →...
  37. Problems in the marriage……? Ok, Me and my husband have only been married for a year together for 3 years…Lately we have been getting in to these petty arguments. Things that I’ve always had a problem with that he does are now just getting … Continue reading →...
  38. How do I stop my parents from divorce? PLEASE help me!!!!!!!!!!!! Please dont say theres nothing I can do im just a kid. Well im a kid that has stopped many people from doing stupid things. My dad says he would never do anything like that and he … Continue reading →...
  39. Girls, I have a marriage question/problem thing!!!! Help please? I’ve been with my boyfriend 3 years. Lately a few of my friends are talking about getting married, and with valentines day coming around…..well…I got to talking with my boyfriend about marriage, and he’s flat out against getting married. He … Continue reading →...
  40. Is this marriage even worth saving? I’m 33 he’s 32 we’re married with 2 kids .separated 3 times …last 2 times while separated he slept wit my sis. now we’re 2gether again and I’m already not feeling good about this.. our personalities are clashing, sex life … Continue reading →...
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6 Responses to trying to save my marriage?

  1. jenn5 says:
    April 26, 2010 at 8:06 am

    Need more information in order to help you with your problems. One thing that I know can help ALL relationships is just knowing and understanding the differences between men and women . Read some books so that you can better handle your husband.

  2. T1859763554 says:
    April 26, 2010 at 8:06 am

    If your house was on fire, would you wait until this fire was out of control before you called the fire department?

    There is nothing wrong with getting a counselor. For marriage problems or personal problems, it does not have the stigma it once did.

  3. ranger_co_1_75 says:
    April 26, 2010 at 8:06 am

    Counselors are a waste of money, they sit and listen to what you say, but not help you make decisions.
    In the end You must decide if you can live with what has happened in your relationship, or if you can’t live with it. Once you decide that, you will know what to do.

  4. say it all... says:
    April 26, 2010 at 8:06 am

    Get that counselor and work on working things out…

  5. awesome1239 says:
    April 26, 2010 at 8:06 am

    Sounds like you are on the right path. Counselling should help. And remember, where there’s a will, there’s a way.

  6. Zuri says:
    April 26, 2010 at 8:06 am

    Don’t talk about getting a counselor. Just get one.

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