My wife and I have been married 3 years. We have 1 kid (2 months). Sex has been non existent in our marriage since day one. It was non existent beforehand, but I loved her and she promised she would work on her issues to get our sex life on track, so we got married. 3 years later, we’ve had sex maybe 6 times. I’m extremely attracted to her both physically and emotionally but she has no desire for having sex with me. I have tried being different incarnations of myself; from nice, *sshole, talkative, quiet, not ever mentioning sex, talking about it… Literally nothing has worked. Everytime I bring it up, no matter how seldom, she says all I think about is sex and she’s over discussing it. I have initiated each and every encounter minus 1 and during sex, I am the type of person who wants to please her above and beyond anything else. She needs an emotional connection (we had one before, but the sex was the same) to want to have sex. I’m at the end of my rope. The last time we had sex was when my son was conceived. I understand she’s not ready and recovered now, but for there to be zero intimate contact for this long between a married couple is unacceptable in my eyes. I’ve told her its hard to build up my emotional bond with her if she can’t even bring herself to have sex with me. BTW we are both in our mid 20′s both in shape and both relatively good looking… Her more than me I’d say. I’ve tried being romantic and she seems to think I’m only doing it so she’ll have sex with me. She thinks everything I do is so that she’ll have sex with me…. Where do I go from here… I suggested counseling and she shot that down without even a 2nd thought.
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Never frown, even when you’re sad
because you never know who is falling in love with your smile
My heart goes out to you. You sound like a really decent guy. Too decent to know that there are women out there who would sex you 3 times a day every day just to have a man like you.
Which brings to mind… have you considered making her jealous? Worth a shot.
Why does sex have to be excluded from your actions. I would say, "I love you and want to have sex with you. I think you are Intelligent and want to have sex with you. I want to go out with you and also have sex with you. Just because I do anything doesn’t mean I don’t care for you, but I have a penis therefore want to have sex with you. If you have a problem with that you should of married a man not attached to his penis. Face it you married me and my penis. We are a package deal."
Unfortunately this is something you two should have dealt with before marriage and a child. But hindsight is 20/20 right? I would encourage you to go get some counseling. It will at least help you to deal with her. She may have some childhood or past trauma that may be making sex distasteful for her. This also might be why she said no to counseling, she may not be ready to deal with any possible trauma.
There is a chance that if you go for counseling she may be encouraged to do the same. As a warning tho, when one person in a relationship is ready for change and the other isn’t it can cause more problems. Good luck to both of you.
by gods word a man and woman should not deny one another their pleasure. If you are being pleasured it keeps your thoughts pure. not wanting other people. there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting intimacy from your wife. Sex is God’s gift to married people. I am so sorry for your situation. I wish i knew more about your wife. this comes across as very cold to me. no sex and accusing you of being after sex with every move you make. Of course you are you love and are attracted to her. she needs to know that this is not a bad thing or a selfish thing on your part. this is the way god designed us. I commend you for your patience and for trying different things. most men and some women would have already bolted or cheated. I myself do not understand this because intimacy with my husband is on many levels and the sex is just the icing on the cake. we are extremely close and sex is just natural. she needs some sort of help and she does have a responsibility as your wife and a partner in a marriage to try to figure this out. i will pray for you and your wife and i know you must be disheartened not to have this connection with your wife. don’t know what to tell you to do exactly but i wish the best for you.
Dude,
Order this DVD series and watch it with your wife (she will LOVE IT) and your sex life will improve so much!!!
http://shopping.laughyourway.com/laugh-your-way-seminar-dvd?utm_campaign=homeproducts&utm_source=lyw&utm_medium=web&utm_content=lywdvd
something may have happened to her in the past or it may be uncomfortable for her. she may not want to talk about it because lets face it that could either be heart wrenching or embarrassing so here is what i suggest as a woman, stop making everything about sex. don’t talk about it, or bring it up with her nor touch her in a Sexual manner for a month or two. during this time do new things together go hiking, spend time alone and make sure she knows beforehand that you don’t mind not having sex you just want to do things to feel closer to her…when guys pull away from women the woman will often start doing the chasing. so at night don’t hold her waist rather hold her hand..make adjustments and if that doesn’t work bring up counseling again and if it is really that unacceptable for you consider a separation( not to have sex with other people) to try "dating each other" again…if all that fails try a counselor on your own and see what he/she recommends
Hire a black man and tell him to give her some roasting.